Trinity 21: Bring it on Home
Summary: Though his partners are home safe and sound, Jason finds that his fear of abandonment has never really been eliminated; it releases itself again, much to Daniel and Jack’s dismay.
Jason couldn’t stop staring. Jack and Daniel were there, in front of him. He knew they were real, alive, but he simply couldn’t stop staring. He knew it was very likely the fact that he was separated from them by the width of the cafeteria table. All he wanted to do was touch them, feel their warmth.
It had been the same at the Diné dining table. They’d been separated from him while they ate and conversed with his grandfather, the tribal elders, and Asatay. It hadn’t been that long since he’d been in their arms but he couldn’t help that need, an almost desperate longing. He’d had to scold himself several times for acting like an idiot. After all, they were within arm’s length so he could touch them. But yet, that short distance seemed almost like half a world away. All he wanted to do was crawl back into bed with them and stay there.
As he sat there, listening to his lovers talk, he found that was the other thing he was completely fixating on. Their voices. He hadn’t really thought that he’d missed their voices that much…but he knew damn well that he had. When they had been gone, he hadn’t wanted to hear their voices on the message machines, so why was he so surprised by the fixation? Jason hadn’t known then and he still didn’t know. All he knew was that they could recite the phone directory and he’d be a happy man. Although, on second thought, he’d be much happier if they’d talk dirty to him. Especially Jack. He had no idea why he found Jack’s talk more erotic than Daniel’s, but it sent wild shivers down his spine every damned time.
But then, that wasn’t entirely accurate, either. Both their voices drove him insane, but the difference was, Daniel could just describe what he wanted to do to him and Jason could come simply from that. Well, almost. A few touches here and there and…
But Jack…he was good with the storytelling. Damn good. He climbed into his role and stayed there, winding Jason up until his head blew. Both of them.
Jason sighed as he watched them. Right now, their voices were endearing and satisfying to hear, but hardly erotic. They were debating…again…about where he would live. He really didn’t mind, although if it kept up, he’d have to put a stop to it.
They’d been arguing about him when they had come through the gate, too, and amazingly, General Hammond had been only slightly annoyed. Jason had figured it was because of what he’d been wearing: honey-colored leather vest and pants, and thong-type sandals. General Hammond had smirked at him as he’d come down the ramp, checking out his clothes, his hair, which Jason had completely forgotten about.
“I hope you realize, Major, that you are well out of uniform.”
Jason had smiled and said, ‘yes, sir.’ What else was there to say? He’d felt a sense of déjà vu, standing there out of uniform, shaking hands and saluting his boss. He’d also been just a bit put out by the fact that his former team was out on a mission. He had yet to go through that reunion – and this time, he was expecting it, if not downright anxious about it. Nervous was an understatement, but he couldn’t wait to see them.
Janet had been in surgery when he’d had his short visit in the infirmary, so he had yet to see her. She’d no doubt find him. The woman was a bloodhound.
He looked away from his constant gaze on his lovers as someone called and waved to him from across the room. Aaron. Jason grinned, watching Major Pierce’s brow knot in surprised confusion as he strolled over. Jason got up and met the man halfway, well aware of the eyes on him – and his leather clothing. It wasn’t the looks from others around the cafeteria. It was from the two sets of eyes boring holes into the back of him. He grinned and motioned slightly with his head as he shook Aaron’s hand.
“Like goddamned hawks,” Aaron laughed. He looked at Jason’s hair appraisingly and shook his head, his eyes teasing. “Haven’t you seen the base barber yet?”
“The butcher? Hell, no. Not for this length of hair. He’s good for trims and that’s only if you don’t mind looking like a Marine. And don’t nag, Aaron. I just got back.”
Aaron chuckled as he kept looking at Jason’s hair and clothes. “The length suits you, but you could have hair down to your ass and it would suit you. Like those clothes do,” he said, lowering his voice.
An old flirtation from an old boyfriend. Jason was reminded how glad he was that he and Aaron had remained friends. He was a very good man. “Thanks, I think.”
“So, what are you doin’ here? I thought you were on leave?”
Jason sat down at an empty table and gestured for Aaron to sit. “Word travelled that fast, did it?”
“In our little community?” Aaron asked rhetorically.
“Good point. Well, I’m here basically to steal that duo away for some much needed R-n-R.”
“Why aren’t you gone then?”
“I will be…after that raggedy bunch known as SG-2 gets back. I have to see them before I go.”
“You always were a sentimental sap.”
“Hey, hey, don’t diss the sap. It’s warranted this time.”
Aaron laughed, looking over Jason’s shoulder. He suddenly cleared his throat. “Better get back there. They look like they’re fixing to come get you. Besides, I gotta eat and head out.”
Jason gave him a warm smile. “Thanks for sayin’ hi, Aaron. It’s good to see you.”
“You too, Jason. Have good time and be safe, ‘kay?”
Before getting up, Aaron whispered, “Oh, and leave soon, or they’ll need to get maintenance out here to mop the drool off the floors,” then he winked.
“Very funny, oatmeal,” Jason teased back, reminding Aaron of an incident in the hospital a long while back. Something about oatmeal and private parts.
“Hey, that wasn’t my fault,” Aaron shot back as he valiantly refused to blush.
“Ah huh,” Jason laughed. “I’ll see ya.”
They stood up and as Aaron strolled over to the table he’d taken to share with his teammates, Jason returned to his seat. Jack and Daniel looked at him carefully. Jason was certain they looked him over as if he were a prized bull being returned to its owners.
“What was that about?” Jack asked.
“Just saying hi, Jack. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.”
Daniel snickered, then cleared his throat. “So, where were we?”
“No, he has a lot of his things at my place already,” Daniel said as he sipped his coffee.
“He doesn’t,” Jack argued. “They’re all in storage.”
Daniel started to argue the point but Jason held up his hand, having reached his limit. “Guys?” They looked across at him and their expressions made Jason laugh. They almost looked indignant. “I’ll look for my own place as quickly as possible. In the meantime, I’m sure I can share.” When he was sure he had them thinking about that, he went on. “After my boys return in,” and he looked at his watch, “an hour and fifteen minutes, and we have our little reunion, I have to give you two your property back.”
Jack frowned, his annoyance still there on his face. “Jason, we’ve already called the banks, et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam. Everything’s done.”
Jason nodded slowly. “Yes, but you still have to get in your homes, don’tcha?”
Daniel and Jack exchanged glances. “Oh…yeah, that, too,” Jack replied.
Jason sent him a very quick wink. “Then, we pack up, make a few stops at the deli, the liquor store, that farmer’s market down by Daniel’s, and get the hell out of Dodge.”
Jack beamed. “Ah yes…this supposed surprise you have for me.”
“Well, two surprises, actually,” Daniel added as he finished his coffee.
Jack raised a brow in query. “Daniel? Jace? Another surprise?”
Jason shook his head at Daniel as he put down his coffee mug. “Yes, Jack.”
Jack was undaunted. “And that is?”
Daniel couldn’t believe Jack sometimes. “It wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?”
Jack made a growling noise. “I hate surprises.”
“You’ll like these, Jack.”
Jason nodded. Jack stared at him. For two long minutes. Then at Daniel. “Where are we going?” Jack asked slowly, though the excitement grew in his eyes.
Jason gave Jack a wide grin. “Not telling,” he said, winking at Daniel.
In retaliation, Jack asked, “We still haven’t decided where you’re staying.”
Jason sighed heavily. “Would you get off that subject and stop worrying about it?” Jack smiled smugly and sipped at his coffee and Jason knew that he’d been played again. Time to get his own back. Standing, he walked around the table and clapped Jack on the shoulder.
“I’ve got to get some things done in my office, but in the meantime, Colonel, here’s some parting words for you.” He leaned over and placed his lips as close to Jack’s ear as he could without being tempted to bite – in the middle of the cafeteria. “I am going to fuck you so hard through the floor of that forest…” he whispered.
With that, Jason winked at Daniel and walked toward the main doors of the cafeteria. He suddenly found himself with the surprising urge to return to his lovers, but with a silent admonishment, he satisfied that urge with a look over his shoulder.
Jack sat there, staring unblinking. He swallowed as almost all of the blood in his upper body travelled south. The words echoed in his ears.
Daniel gave him a sly smile as he stood up and patted him on the shoulder. “You should be able to stand up in about fifteen minutes, Jack. In the meantime, if you want me, I’ll be with Jason.” With that, Daniel left Jack and walked casually out of the room.
Jack’s fingers tightened around the coffee mug as he slowly breathed in, breathed out…breathed in…breathed out. He was going to kill Jason. As soon as he could stand up.
Daniel caught up with Jason in his office, smirking at him for what he’d just pulled.
“You are in deep shit.”
Jason nodded. “I know.” He looked over the few pieces of paperwork on his desk, knowing that Daniel’s eyes never left him…something that he’d been doing since they’d returned home.
Daniel wasn’t staring because of Jason’s appearance, though that was part of it. Despite how normal Jason was acting, Daniel knew that the post-traumatic stress would rear its ugly head again. It took a while to get over that kind of thing. He knew that firsthand. But he would be there for Jason this time, and so would Jack.
“Daniel,” Jason said without looking at him. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” Daniel asked, looking away.
Jason sighed, looking at him finally. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“No, you don’t, Jace, but you know as well as I do how unpredictable post-stress is.”
“Stop worrying,” Jason told him softly.
Daniel sighed and adjusted his seat on the arm of the short sofa, continuing to watch Jason go through the small pile of paperwork, including the envelopes he’d retrieved from Cari. Jason suddenly got up and handed them to him as he sat on the front edge of his desk.
“One’s yours. The other one is Jack’s. Your keys and other stuff are all in there.”
“Thanks,” Daniel replied as he set them down. He reached over and grabbed a pencil from Jason’s inbox tray, needing something to do with his hands. He had this tremendous urge to grab Jason and kiss him stupid, regardless of the camera. Instead, it might be better to talk about something, anything. “I noticed the staring, Jason.”
Jason shrugged. “Can’t help it.”
A glint of metal caught Daniel’s attention and he looked down at the man’s right pinky. He reached over and briefly lifted Jason’s pinky with his own.
“You never took this off, did you?”
Jason shook his head, then looked down at Daniel’s pinky…where there was no ring. “Lose yours?”
Daniel gave him that ‘you should know better’ look and reached inside his shirt, pulling out his dog tags. “Had them on the whole time, Jace. So did Jack.”
Jason frowned with slight embarrassment. “That explains why I couldn’t find it in his desk,” he mumbled sadly as he looked down at his own ring. “I was afraid this was the last one.”
Daniel wanted to reach out and hold him, and if they’d been in his own office, sans camera, he would have. He took a deep breath and gave Jason a gentle smile. “It’s not and it never will be. Ever.”
Jason stared at his ring for a moment before slowly looking up to meet Daniel’s gaze. “It’s gonna take me awhile to get over this, Daniel. I hope I won’t be too big of a pain in the ass.”
“You’re always a pain in the ass,” Jack said from the door. They looked over and saw Jack leaning against the frame, arms folded. Jason let a sideways smile form.
“Takes one to know one.”
Jack grinned back as he straightened and walked over to stand in front of Jason. He reached into his shirt and pulled out his own tags. Hanging next to the rubber-edged metal tags was the small, silver ring. He knew, as Daniel did, that he couldn’t reassure Jason here, so as his back was to the camera, he instead winked and gave Jason a knowing grin. “It’ll never leave me willingly, Jace.”
As he looked at Jack, Jason took a very deep breath, mostly in an effort to control his need to grab hold of the sonofabitch and kiss him into a stupor. Instead, he nodded without saying a word.
Daniel was going to add something but a throat clearing at the door interrupted them. It was Janet. She walked toward them and when Jack stepped aside, she got a look at her patient. She’d seen his clothing before, so it shouldn’t have been a shock, and she was already used to the length of his hair, but here, in the setting of the SGC, Jason looked like a civilian…and a gorgeous one at that.
She crossed her arms as she pointed. “Is that the new dress code?”
“I wish,” Daniel replied.
Janet grinned. “I’m gonna have to put security bracelets on my nurses, Jason…if you insist on parading around looking like…that.”
Jason caught Jack and Daniel’s bemused expressions and rolled his eyes. “I’m on leave, Janet. Whether it’s medical or regular makes no difference. I don’t need to be in uniform. Besides, all my normal clothing is in storage. Jack and Daniel’s things are at their houses and in their lockers – as SG-1’s locker room was never reassigned.”
Jack nodded. “You know, that surprised me when we got back. Didn’t even have dust on it.”
“What? The locker room?” Janet asked.
“Well, it’s shared with SG-2,” Janet went on before Jason or Daniel could answer. “The room’s constantly cleaned.” She paused a moment, not taking her eyes from Jason’s face. She surprised Jason and the others when she reached up and gently brushed a lock of hair away from his eyes. “How you doin’, sugar?” The action made Jack and Daniel bristle slightly with possessiveness…which did not go unnoticed by either Janet or Jason.
“Ah huh. I just had a look at your readings. Your BP is still slightly elevated.”
“Elevated?” said his lovers simultaneously.
Jason rolled his eyes again, this time in disgust. “Did you have to say that, Janet? It’s bad enough with you as a mother hen, now you’ll have these two doing it.”
“We’re already doing it,” Jack answered as he fought off his own need to touch Jason’s hair. One strand in particular was bothering him – at least, that’s what he told himself. “Besides, Jason, I thought you said that’s what you’ll be doing?”
“Yeah, but three hens sounds awfully claustrophobic to me,” Jason tried to cover.
Janet’s mouth twitched upward in a smile. “In that case, I’m sure the mother hen bit won’t last too long.”
In an effort to switch subjects, barely, Jason decided to tease her back. “So, I take it you don’t care for the duds?” he asked as he looked down at himself. He actually did like what he was wearing. It was just plain comfortable. “I wish our uniforms fit this comfortably.”
Jack and Daniel snorted as they tried and failed to stifle a laugh.
“What?” Jason asked, pretending innocence.
“Sugar, I love the clothing,” Janet teased. “With you in it, especially. Melts my butter, as the saying goes. In fact, I’d love to see the Colonel here in leather like that.”
“You and me both,” Jason and Daniel replied, then snickered. Jack’s look of surprise quickly turned to one of slight embarrassment as Janet levelled her look on him, trying not to smirk.
“You do realize that if you wore something like the Major’s wearing now, you’d bring the house down.”
“Like a deck of cards,” Daniel quipped.
Jack sent him a ‘wait till later’ look. “Well, what’s not to love, I ask you,” he said, assuming that well-known self-assuredness of his.
Janet snorted. “Well…on that note, gentlemen, I’m leaving. You,” and she pointed to Jason, “be good.”
Jason somehow refrained from the obvious comeback and slapped Daniel across the stomach before he could say it too. Jack would have said it, but the klaxon rang out, announcing an incoming wormhole. They waited, and when SG-2’s iris code was announced, Jason stood up abruptly.
“Holy shit, they’re early!” He took off out of his office at a half-run, leaving his lovers and Janet staring after him for a second before they followed.
Jason pelted into the gateroom just as SG-2 came walking down the ramp. Upon seeing their long-absent commander, they stopped. Captain Matthews grinned and Jason’s boys let out a few whistles as the men from the armory took their weapons.
“Welcome home, SG-2,” came Hammond’s voice from the control room.
“Thank you, sir,” Alex called out.
“Why are you back an hour early?” Hammond asked. “Anything go wrong?”
“No, sir,” Alex answered. “There was simply nothing to do there but waste time.”
“Very well, Captain. Debriefing’s in two hours.”
“Yes, sir,” Alex replied. He then turned his attention to Jason and smiled as he looked him over. “I suppose you’d smack me one if I called you ‘Tonto’.”
Jason smirked. “Try it and find out, Captain, unless you’d rather I give you a big smooch instead.”
Several snickers echoed throughout the room as the armory Sergeants left along with the gate’s security team.
Alex gave Jason a crooked grin as he shook his head. “I think I’ll pass on the offer. Would you settle for a simple hug?”
“Demand one, actually,” Jason replied before he was summarily man-handled by all his teammates. Afterwards, he stepped back and shook Matthews’ hand. “Thanks for everything, Tim. I owe ya one.”
“No sweat. The General is anxious to have me back with SG-6 so your timing is perfect. How you doin’?”
Jason affected a look of reassurance, mostly for his teammates. “I’m good. Much better now that that pair and their teammates are back home.” He pointed behind him without having to look to see if Jack and Daniel were there. He also had a sneaky suspicion Janet was too.
Alex looked over his shoulder, then smiled tentatively, almost worriedly, at his friend. “Must’ve been some reunion.”
Jason let out a laugh. “Yes. It was. I’ll tell you about it sometime. In the meantime…” and he turned to escort them out of the gateroom. “I’m off.”
“Your rocker?” Al asked.
“The wall?” Connor followed.
“No, to see the wizard,” Alex finished.
Jason smiled wide. “God, I missed you assholes…and I’ve no idea why.”
After visiting a while longer with his team, Jason picked up his truck from Cari and drove to his storage unit to retrieve some of his belongings, including clothing. Despite his lovers’ protests, he’d wanted to be alone for a bit, meeting up later at Daniel’s. Jason didn’t understand it himself, considering he hadn’t wanted to be parted from them, but he felt the need to force the solitude on himself, as if testing his own resolve – and his own fears.
Several times that day, he’d had to choke down the panic he’d felt when they’d been out of his sight for more than an hour. It was as if they’d suddenly disappear on him; as if their presence was some sort of dream and at any moment, he’d awaken to the nightmare he’d lived in the past six months.
As he drove to Daniel’s, that panic was rising again and twice he’d had to let up on the gas pedal, telling himself there was no need to rush. They were there, at Daniel’s, and he didn’t need to feel so fearful anymore.
He remembered the look in Jack’s eyes before they’d left the mountain without him. The worry, the protectiveness. Though it had started to get on Jason’s nerves when he’d been in his office and under Daniel’s scrutiny, he suddenly knew that he would no longer tell either of his lovers to stop it – at least for the time being. In fact, he was beginning to appreciate it, as if that protectiveness was a security blanket he needed. He had given both Jack and Daniel a loving look before they’d parted. “I won’t be long.”
“Don’t be. You don’t want me to come after you,” Jack had warned.
Jason grinned as he turned down the road Daniel lived on. It was as if they couldn’t keep him out of their sights either, wasn’t it? Well, maybe they were in the same place – though, they hadn’t thought he was dead. He frowned, then prayed to any and all gods that they’d never have to go through what he had.
Finally, at Daniel’s, he opened the unlocked door and took a tentative step inside the house. He immediately heard sounds in the kitchen and noise coming from the bathroom and grinned. As he looked around, Jason found himself staring…and remembering. He was literally startled when a hand came on his shoulder and he spun around, finding Jack staring at him.
Jack’s eyes widened. “What’s the matter? You’re jumpy as hell.”
“Last time I was here, I was…cleaning.”
“Cleaning?” Jack asked, pausing.
“Yeah,” Jason replied, then started to back out of the room. “If you don’t mind, Jack, I um…I need to step outside…get some air.”
Before Jack could say anything, Jason strode quickly through the French doors that opened to the back patio. Jack frowned with worry, though he didn’t try to stop him. He knew that whatever had caused Jason to break down the way he had wasn’t going to go away in a few days. Or probably even months. But he could try to rid Jason of his demons over the next few days. Maybe then, Jason would be more secure when they finally went back to work.
Outside, Jason took a breath. Even with Jack there, right in front of him, alive, he’d started to feel a little claustrophobic. He knew it was just because of the memories of being alone in Daniel’s house, of having the feeling that they were dead and not wanting to face it. Looking down at himself, he was reminded that he was still wearing the leather clothing and sandals. With a sigh, he walked around the house, to his truck, grabbed a pair of jeans, boots, and a red and black checked shirt from the cab seat and walked back inside through the front door. Jack looked up from the bag he was stuffing on the kitchen table.
“Where’d you…oh.” He smiled gently as Jason walked into the living room to change.
Jason smiled at Jack, his eyes passing over the faded jeans and the brown shirt. Jack also had his hiking boots on and for some reason, Jason found him sexy as hell in them. Maybe they accentuated the length of his legs, he didn’t know. He looked away and concentrated on removing his clothes. Naked now, he pulled on his jeans – sans underwear.
“Jace?” Jack asked as he watched his lover pull the pants up around his ass.
Jason looked up, his right brow rising, just as Jack stepped in front of him and reached out to stop him from buttoning up his jeans.
“No underwear?” Jack asked.
“Guess not,” he said, frowning in confusion as he realized he hadn’t grabbed any, either. “I think I’ve grown used to going without.”
“Guess so,” Jack whispered as his fingers teased the top of his lover’s pubic hairs.
“Jack,” Jason warned as he started to step back, but Jack grabbed a belt loop and pulled him back.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, then ran the backs of his fingers over the outline of Jason’s cock – dressed to the left.
Jason swallowed. “We, uh, don’t we have to get going?” he asked, not wanting to go anywhere but down.
Jack smiled devilishly. “Yes, but I also remember something about fucking me through the forest floor. Think you’re getting away without payback for leaving me like you did?”
Jason’s eyes widened and he started to respond, but his mouth was suddenly busy. Jack grabbed him about the waist with one hand, and with the other, cradled his face. He plunged his tongue into Jason’s mouth, kissing hungrily as he rubbed his crotch against lover’s.
Jason’s cock filled immediately, throbbing with the need to be touched. He started to return the caress as well as the kiss, but Jack abruptly stepped away, leaving Jason standing there, flushed and aroused.
“Bastard,” Jason growled, knowing damned well that he had it coming.
“More later,” Jack promised, returning to the kitchen with a smug smile on his face.
As Jason finished dressing, he heard Daniel’s shower switch off. He couldn’t help but recall that first time with him, or the first complete day he’d spent with Daniel as his lover. It had been everything that he’d dreamed of. And more. He hadn’t understood just how far in love with Daniel he’d been, but he understood it now. Just as he understood how much he’d fallen in love with Jack…and how much he’d resisted it. Jason had known that Daniel had loved Jack for a long time before he loved him. It took him a long time to realize that he hadn’t been a substitute for Jack. Now, here he was, part of a relationship – a three-way relationship – that he couldn’t have foreseen over a year and a half ago.
Jason suddenly realized that Jack had gone – he spun around, panicking, then relaxed as he saw the door was open and heard the truck door unlatch. He sighed with irritation at himself and went over to the French doors, folding his arms and staring out, thinking. It wouldn’t do to dwell on this but he had to get a grip. This fear had to be dealt with, and quickly, or he couldn’t allow himself to go back to work. The depression was still there, though not so much, but he knew that it was going to be a while before his emotions healed completely. What bothered him most was that he’d actually fallen apart. After all the possible preparations for death, it had hit him harder than he had thought it would. But they weren’t dead. It was, for all intents and purposes, a false alarm. Almost like a test. And he’d failed.
Best to learn from this and force himself to move on. To heal. He knew what he had to do and his training and education told him how long it would be before he truly felt his lovers were with him. He did realize that their jobs were going to make him more fearful and he’d have to stomp on that fear if he wanted to keep things…normal.
Normal. The way to do that was to look forward to something. His mind fixed on a portion of the backyard patio and the unfinished pond that Daniel had started. He thought that maybe a barbecue pit would look good next to it. In fact, that was just what it needed. What he needed, actually. A project. A building project. Something for the future. Aside from the dratted apartment hunting, he could always live here at Daniel’s, building…
Slipping on his briefs and jeans, Daniel padded out to the kitchen as he toweled his hair. He looked over and found Jason standing at the French doors. His smile changed to a frown as he realized that his lover’s mind was far away. Daniel sighed, hoping Jason wasn’t in a dark place. He knew, just as Jason did, that it would take a while for his lover to emotionally heal. If he was honest with himself, Daniel knew that both he and Jack needed some of that healing time, too.
“Jace?” he called softly. Jason didn’t hear him. Daniel set the towel on the table and walked up behind his lover. “Jace?” he repeated as his arms went around him. Jason jumped a bit, startled.
“Whatcha doin’?” Daniel asked, sounding like Jack.
Jason motioned outside. “Just…looking. I was thinking that maybe you could do with a brick barbecue next to that unfinished pond. It would give me something to do while looking for a new apartment, so…” and he turned slightly, his eyes taking in Daniel’s damp, mussed hair. He smiled as his eyes moved downward, looking over the slightly damp bared chest. “I can always live here.”
Daniel smiled and pressed his lips against the side of Jason’s face. “I have no problems with that whatsoever,” he whispered.
As he leaned into the light kiss, Jason turned toward him. “You know, we’ve never been camping together.” Daniel started to dispute that but Jason placed a finger against his lips. “No, off-world doesn’t count and you know it.”
Daniel chuckled at his lover. “No, it doesn’t. And we may not get this chance again for a while, so we may as well make the most of it,” then his voice dropped to a whisper. “Think Jack will like his present?”
Jason nodded, reading Daniel’s eyes carefully. “I know he will. I also know he won’t get much of a chance to ride it. Maybe we should have gotten him something else.”
Daniel shook his head. “No, he’ll love this present, and every time he rides it, he’ll know where it came from. Besides, if we’d gotten him something else and he ever learns what we could have gotten him, he’d give us hell.”
Jason groaned. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Daniel fingered the collar of Jason’s shirt, giving him a coy smile. “I haven’t seen this shirt before. Holding out on me, lumberjack?”
Jason started to laugh. “Very funny. This shirt would look better on Jack, wouldn’t it?” he asked, looking down as he laced his fingers through Daniel’s.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Jack replied as he walked inside. “It looks very sexy on you.”
“Really?” Jason asked, teasing in return with just the tone of his voice.
“Mmm, really,” Daniel mumbled as Jason brought his fingers to his mouth, nipping playfully. Daniel pulled his hand away, sighing heavily as he felt himself hardening. “Brat. We have to leave.” He pushed away from Jason with mock-disgust.
“Better get dressed first,” Jack told him as Daniel disappeared down the hall.
“Oh, shut up.”
“Things all packed?” Jason asked, smiling at Daniel’s words.
Jack shrugged as he walked over. “I guess.” Just as Daniel had done, Jack reached out to stroke Jason’s shirt with his fingertips. “How’re you doing?”
Jason had a feeling that Jack would ask him that. He smiled, covering up the panic he felt just staring at him. “Fine,” he drawled, relieved that he could sound fine. “Stop your worrying.”
“Do you honestly expect me to?” Jack asked as he drew the back of a forefinger over the hollow of Jason’s throat, watching and feeling the movement as Jason swallowed.
Jason shook his head nervously, feeling the lump rising under Jack’s finger. “Are you that worried about me?” Part of him wanted Jack to say no, to say he was just being over-protective. Part of him wanted Jack to say yes, to be over-protective. And another part of him wished he’d never asked the question.
Instead of answering, Jack did the unexpected – as always. He cupped Jason’s face with one hand, repeating his exact touch from earlier, but this time, his gaze was serious, not playful. He leaned in and kissed him…opening his mouth, teasing Jason’s tongue with his own before locking his mouth over his lover’s.
Jason was still half-hard from earlier and he grew hard again. He moaned into Jack’s mouth and suddenly held him tightly in his arms as he returned Jack’s kiss with matching passion.
Jack felt the passion and need coming through his lover and he was a bit startled by its strength. Just as he was about to take things further than he’d planned, he heard Daniel clearing his throat…then the door closing. Jack broke the kiss and turned slightly. Both he and Jason stared at Daniel, puzzled, as Daniel walked over to them, smirking.
“What?” Jack asked.
“You’re kissing…with the door wide open. Shame on you two.”
Jack turned and looked at Jason and Jason raised his brows. “Don’t look at me. You’re the one who left the door open.”
Jack growled in his throat. He should have closed the door. What the hell was the matter with him? “Damn, why didn’t I notice that?”
Jason wound his arms around Jack’s neck, then whispered against his lips, “I think you were preoccupied.”
Jack was suddenly engulfed in a torrid, soul-searching kiss. His arms were quickly round Jason and he moved backward, hitting the kitchen table and abruptly sitting down.
Daniel smiled softly as he watched them, then cleared his throat again. “Much as this is very arousing to watch,” and he slapped Jason on the ass, “we have to get going.” He ran his hand over Jason’s hair, lacing the long strands through his fingers. He then leaned in and kissed Jason on the back of the head. “C’mon you.”
Jason looked over his shoulder, then back at Jack. “Maybe we could just stay here,” he said as he nuzzled Jack’s nose. Jack shook his head and stood up, pushing Jason back.
“Huh uh. Someone’s getting some on the forest floor.” He gave his lover a meaningful grin.
“Oh yeah,” Jason said, clearing his throat. “So, what are we doing standing around here then?”
Jack reached into the back of his truck to grab the tent. Only part of his attention was on setting up camp, however. The rest of it was on Jason. He was worried. Jason was putting on an act, and a good one. However, his lover may be able to fool others, but Jack wasn’t fooled, and neither was Daniel. He hefted the square package out of the truck, all the while watching Jason clean out the campfire pit and set up the grills.
Daniel walked over and grabbed one end of the tent, then looked over into the back of the truck. He frowned in confusion as he and Jack moved over to the small clearing.
“What?” Jack asked, noticing as they set the tent down and proceeded to unpack it.
“Thought you’d like to fish,” Daniel said quietly. “So where’s your fishing gear? There’s supposed to be fish in the nearby stream.”
Jack gestured in Jason’s direction as he grabbed the stakes from a pocket of the tent. “Maybe another time. I’m not exactly in the mood for it right now.”
Daniel understood what he meant. He looked over, watching as Jason walked over to the truck, looked in, grabbed the fire-starting fuel, then looked around him.
“Heads up,” Daniel warned. “He’s just realized that your fishing gear isn’t there.”
Jason frowned, then looked over his shoulder. “Jack…?”
Jack looked over at him and shrugged. “How about we just relax this time out? We brought enough food, anyway. Next time, we can go to this lake I know.”
“No, Daniel, not any in Minnesota.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Jason quipped as he walked back to the fire pit. Daniel grinned and Jack pretended to be annoyed.
Striking a few matches, Jason lit the kindling, his frown increasing. Jack had changed what he’d wanted to do because of him and Jason wasn’t happy about it. He sat down, lost in empty thought, staring as the fire attempted to form coals. He hadn’t realized how much time had gone by until Jack touched his shoulder. He started, then looked over his shoulder and saw the large, square field tent had been erected.
“Damn, you two are fast,” he said, surprised.
“Comes with plenty of practice,” Jack said as he sat down on the ground beside him.
“Plenty of practice,” Daniel echoed as he sat on Jason’s opposite side.
Jason looked from one to the other, then sighed as he looked back into the fire. “I’m fine.”
“Jason, you’re capable of fooling everyone but us,” Daniel said softly. “You don’t have to be fine.”
“Think it’s time to talk?” Jack asked. He wasn’t so much in the mood for it as he was ready to get it over with and done. He didn’t like seeing Jason this way and the worry was creating an empty space in his heart. He hated that.
Jason didn’t answer either of his lovers’ concerns. He was fine. More or less. He just had to get his fears under control, that’s all. He suddenly got up, brushing off his hands. “Listen, I’m gonna go scout around for better wood than what’s here. I’ll be back in a few.”
Daniel and Jack didn’t stop him. They watched, silently, as Jason took the narrow path at the west edge of the camp site that led toward the stream.
“Bet you twenty bucks he doesn’t bring back any wood,” Jack said.
“Nah, he’ll cover. Ten bucks says it’s only a few pieces.”
“Deal.” Daniel smirked, then got to his feet. “May as well round it up for ourselves. If he’s not going to bring back much…”
“Good idea,” Jack replied as Daniel helped him up. They went off down another path, leading southward, not caring that Jason would likely return before they did, thus nullifying their small bet.
Jason squatted down next to the water’s edge and let his fingertips just touch the cool, running water. He felt the irrational need to turn around and return to his lovers so he sternly ordered himself not to panic, to stay in control. There was nothing to fear. They weren’t leaving him. There was nothing to fear.
Dumping the wood they’d rounded up, Jack went to the back of his truck and retrieved his hatchet before he and Daniel moved off again.
Jason came back to the camp and grimaced when he realized he’d forgotten to scout for wood. Seeing the pile of wood already gathered, he sighed, then looked around. Jack and Daniel weren’t around and he sighed again. Gathering more wood, no doubt, as he should have been doing. He went to the truck and removed first one cooler, then the other. He set them alongside the truck, making sure they were far enough away from the fire, which didn’t seem to be burning very well.
He moved over, collected more twigs and re-ignited the fire with the fuel. The tiny wood fragments popped and crackled and he waited, staring into them, keeping his mind focused only on that and nothing else.
By the time the fire was going fairly well, Jason suddenly realized his lovers hadn’t returned. Biting down on his panic once more, he set out to find them.
Jack felt something hit his neck and he turned, sending a warning look at Daniel. Daniel grinned, tossed a few huckleberries into his mouth…then launched another one at Jack, hitting him in the forehead.
“Oh, you wanna play that, do you?” he asked, grinning fiendishly. He plucked several berries off the bush, then ducked behind a tree and started his return assault.
Daniel laughed as he fired back, occasionally eating some of the small, pale pink berries. They heard a twig snap in the distance and exchanged glances. They knew it had to be Jason and both got the same idea. Moving further down the trail, they planned their ambush.
Jason was getting worried though he knew he had no reason to be. He’d only been on the trail for maybe two minutes, for heaven’s sake. There was no way he would call out for them, either. It would imply worry and he’d told them he was fine, hadn’t he? Even if they didn’t believe him, Jason insisted on keeping up the pretense. Grinding his jaw, he pressed on. Another two minutes passed, and as he looked down, stepping over a tree root, he found several loose huckleberries on the path. He squatted down, picked one up, looked at it and ate it as he scanned his surroundings. They were here, waiting for him. He grinned and remained motionless, listening. After another minute, he frowned. All he heard were birds and the muffled sound of running water. If they were going to ambush, wouldn’t they have done it by…
No. An ambush required surprise, and if they were hidden, but able to see him, they’d know he wasn’t surprised. Sighing, he stood up and pushed on, deciding that he’d have to hunt them down himself, to flush his prey, so to speak. He moved off the path, searching, but didn’t find them. Frowning, he headed further down the path, thinking that the ambush was set up ahead somewhere. And that is what they were doing, Jason told himself. He may be having panic attacks, but he wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t guess the minds of Jack O’Neill and Daniel Jackson.
Three minutes later, he found more huckleberries, though not as many. He kept ordering the panic down. They weren’t gone. They were hiding, playing a game. His stepping on that twig near the camp had to have started it.
Unfortunately, five more minutes passed and he found no sign of them. He moved further and further down the path and into the forest, and as he moved, his panic rose higher. He rounded a considerable-sized fir tree when they jumped out at him, surrounding him.
“Gotcha!” Daniel said, smiling.
Jack was going to say something but his smile faltered, then disappeared. Daniel’s quickly followed.
“Jason?” Jack asked, alarmed at the look in Jason’s eyes.
Jason was startled, then surprised, then relieved, and now…he was angry. In fact, he was pissed. At any other time, he knew he’d either give chase or wrestle them to the ground. But right now, all he felt was anger and fear. He turned abruptly and started back toward the camp, his pace brisk.
“Jason?” Daniel asked as he moved up alongside and matched his lover’s stride. Jason didn’t answer and Daniel saw the furrow set between Jason’s brow. He was mad. The path suddenly narrowed and Daniel was forced to either trip over a good-sized root or fall back. Jack frowned and as they followed Jason back to camp, his own anger rose. What the hell was the matter with him?
As Jason came out into the clearing and headed for the fire, Jack grabbed his arm. Jason whirled, looking almost as if he was going to hit Jack. Jack’s brow rose and his eyes widened. His expression clearly said, ‘Don’t you dare’.
Jason swallowed, then took a step back. He forced himself to relax the frown on his face as he looked back and forth between his lovers. He’d overreacted and he knew it. They’d scared him and he’d gotten mad. He now felt foolish and stupid. Embarrassed.
Without another word, Jack went to the cooler, fished out a 6-pack of bottled beer, then grabbed the camping cushions he’d always used; made of cloth, not plastic. A bugger to wash but easier to sit on. No sliding or sticking, either. He tossed three down on the ground, then set the pack of beer on one of the two large logs that framed the fire.
“C’mon,” he said gently, touching Jason’s left bicep. “It’s time we had that chat, whether you want to or not.”
Jason stared at Jack, swallowing hard with embarrassment. He was torn between kissing Jack fiercely or running. He loved Jack for what he was doing, but he couldn’t help but want to get out from under that knowing gaze – and the fact that he’d just acted like a fool in front of his lovers. In the end, he opted for neither solution and decided to sit down instead. Toeing one of the cushions, he sat down alongside the fire. Jack stared down at him, then nodded to himself and grabbed a beer. He held it out to Jason, who looked up and took it.
Jack grabbed another one, handed it to Daniel, took one for himself and sat down across from his distressed lover, Daniel next to him. Jack wouldn’t take his eyes off Jason except to trade glances with Daniel. He leaned against the log and brought his legs up, resting his arms on his knees, his beer dangling between them.
Daniel, too, wouldn’t take his eyes from Jason. He crossed his legs and sat forward. “Jace…what happened?” he asked softly.
Jason picked up a small stick and stoked the fire, though there was no need. He found staring at the coals better than looking into the eyes of his lovers…at least, for the moment.
“I got scared,” he began.
Jack and Daniel exchanged glances of understanding.
“You thought we’d disappeared again,” Daniel stated, staring curiously at the reflection of the fire on Jason’s hair and cheek. He looked up, suddenly realizing that the sun was beginning to set. He got up then and Jason looked up, startled.
Jack frowned, his worry increasing. Did Jason expect Daniel to walk or something?
Daniel didn’t bother explain himself as he went to the truck and retrieved the two large hurricane lanterns. He set one down behind the log, then lit the other and set it beside him as he sat back down. When he saw Jack’s expression of curiosity and something in Jason’s eyes he couldn’t read, he shrugged and pointed up.
“The sun’s about to set.”
“There’s a fire,” Jack pointed.
“Yes, but did you want to try and find stuff in the dark?”
“Good point,” Jack said, then looked over at Jason, who was back to staring into the fire. He nudged his booted toe with his own. “You thought we’d disappeared, didn’t you?”
“I did.” Jason didn’t look at him. He kept staring into the fire, the memories of the last six months seemingly replaying in the flames. It was as if he could see them as moving pictures. One lick of flame danced and became one set of scenes; another lick of flame or a bright, pulsing coal became another. Jason drew his knees up close to his chest and rested his chin between them. “I… panicked. And I feel like an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” Jack told him. There was no answer. Just a long silent pause. Jack observed Jason very carefully. “You’ve been having these panic attacks since we got home, haven’t you?”
Jason suddenly looked over at him, then at Daniel. He looked back to the fire, nodding mutely.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Daniel asked.
Jack knew why. “Because if he voiced them out loud, the panic would then become real, and in becoming real…something…fatal might happen.”
Jason regarded Jack for a moment before he dropped his forehead to his knees. He nodded – barely – then turned his face toward the fire. He didn’t ask Jack how he knew. Jack had had similar experiences in the past and he could quite likely guess with accuracy what was going on in Jason’s head.
Daniel frowned, glancing between his lovers as he thought through what was left unsaid. Death. That’s what they were talking about. Not their own. Someone else’s. Having someone literally die on you…then come back.
Daniel had never experienced that sort of fear. Jack’s time on Edora hadn’t been the same. He had known where Jack was. Daniel was always afraid of losing his lovers and that fear stayed with him, but he was used to the fear of losing people. No one ever came back from the dead. Well…except for Teal’c and Sam. But Daniel had never had to go through the same fear that Jason experienced – was still experiencing. He stared hard at his lover, suddenly realizing that he’d never taken Jason for irrevocably dead…his lover had only ever put a few scares into him, like Jack had – near-death experiences, not the real deal. Neither Jace nor Jack had ever actually died and come back and Daniel fervently hoped that it would never, ever, happen.
Daniel reached out and as Jason was close enough, he brushed the backs of his fingers over Jason’s left cheek. “I’m sorry to have scared you.”
Jason turned his head so that his face rested on his knees. He closed his eyes and sighed. “It’s nothing to be sorry for, Daniel. You didn’t know.”
“Can you talk to us?” he asked. “About all of it?”
Jason opened his eyes and looked at them both. With another sigh, he lifted his head, then stared back into the fire. “I had nightmares. They made things worse.”
“That’s what Alex told us,” Daniel informed him.
Jason nodded. “Figures. He and the others were worried about me, you know. About Janet, too. She was nearly as strung out as I was. But the nightmares…well, after you’d been gone for two months, I’d shut down.”
Jack stared back at him, seeing his own past reenacted in Jason’s eyes. “You closed off, afraid to feel.”
Jason looked over at him. “I was…an asshole, to put it mildly.” He smiled sadly. “The poor guys. I took my anger and fear and frustration and bottled it up. Unfortunately, it came out at inappropriate times. Finally, Alex had had enough. He came to me and confronted me.” He then explained what had happened, and though Jack and Daniel didn’t interrupt, their eyes showed him understanding, and not a little shared pain. “Then came the reason I left.”
“The nightmares?” Daniel asked.
Jason shook his head. “No, but they were part of it. I thought Adriann could help, so I went to visit him.” His eyes grew wide. “Does he know that you guys have been found?”
Jack and Daniel didn’t know. “We’ll deal with that later,” Jack said. “Right now, we focus on you,” and paused a moment. Then, “Tell us about the nightmares, Jason.”
Jason didn’t want to, but he did. As he recited them, his lovers’ expressions turned to shock.
Jack grimaced. “I’m familiar with those kind. They’re nasty.”
Daniel was just as familiar with them. He looked at Jack in sympathy and understanding, then at Jason. “How long did you have them?”
Jason sighed. “Until just before I started…until I started messing up on a few missions. Connor was injured because I blew it. I needed something. I was finding something. I didn’t know it was…”
“Suicide?” Daniel asked, his eyes wide in horror. “Jason?”
Jason shook his head. “No…it was…” He couldn’t find the right word.
Again, Jack understood. “Oblivion.”
Jason looked up sharply. Having the word – the right word – spoken aloud, it was like a rude awakening. He looked away, focusing on a piece of coal in the bed of the fire. “I began to believe that you were dead. I’d fought that for a long time, but something snapped after I saw Adriann. It had been almost four months. I thought he’d be able to help somehow, in some way, but he couldn’t. He was the final nail. I never, ever,” he said venomously, “thought I would cave. I never thought I was capable of losing control like that. But I did.” He looked over at them, his eyes seeking forgiveness. “I’m s–“
“No, Jace!” Jack said fervently. “Don’t. Don’t you dare. I know what it’s like.”
Jason started to shake his head. He couldn’t possibly compare his grief to Jack’s.
Daniel read the look. “Jason, how many times have you told me that comparing one’s grief against another’s is unfair? That we all feel pain and that no one person’s is above another’s?”
Jason clenched his jaw. “A…few…times.”
“Then why would you think that your own grief is measurable?”
Jason shrugged, then laughed sadly. “Because it’s me?”
“You’ve been through grief before,” Jack said softly. “You know better. Why was this any different?”
Jason couldn’t answer.
“I know why,” Jack told him. Daniel and Jason stared at him as Jack leaned forward, spreading legs further apart. He took a sip from his beer and set it down, letting it lean against his boot. “You couldn’t grieve openly. As far as anyone was concerned, we were ‘only’,” and he gestured, making quotations in the air, “your friends. We weren’t ‘family’ or ‘loved ones’. Just because our relationships aren’t open and acceptable, doesn’t make them less valuable than others’. But because you had to hide the real reason for your grief, and the fact that there was no concrete evidence of death, everything inside you built and built and built.” He tapped Jason’s toe as he said those last words. “Until the dam broke.”
Jason closed his eyes and nodded. “Adriann.” They were quiet for a few moments until Jason suddenly said, “Not to get off topic or anything, but you should know. I can sometimes hear him.”
Jack and Daniel blinked, not understanding.
Jason turned his head slowly, meeting their eyes in hesitation. “Adriann. I can hear his thoughts.”
Daniel nodded. “I heard him on our first day there.”
“Yes, but this is different, Daniel. Before that attack, when I was hit with that dart, it wasn’t possible for me to hear Adriann unless he concentrated. Now, I can hear him sometimes whether he wants me to or not.”
Jack inclined his head. “Because of the blood he took or the poison?”
“The poison. That’s what he said, anyway.”
The news was digested silently, but was also set aside. It could be talked about later.
“So…after those missions, you stepped down?” Daniel asked, though he knew.
Jason nodded. “Hammond wouldn’t let me resign though. He and Janet ganged up on me and put me on medical leave instead.”
Jack picked up his beer, then nudged Jason’s toe with his own. “I’m glad.”
Jason looked at him and smiled sadly. “I’m totally fucked, you know.”
Jack would have given Jason a smile at that remark – at any other time. Now was not the time. “Why?” he asked.
“Look, I was – am – convinced that I’d gone round the bend.” He saw they were both about to argue but he stalled them. “No, I’m serious, and don’t whitewash this. I know I did.” He looked directly at Jack, his brow furrowing in shame. “How can anyone take me seriously now? Especially after what I did? I can’t believe I was so weak to–“
“Hey!” Jack said harshly, though his voice didn’t rise much, and he grabbed Jason’s arm. His action surprised Jason, but not Daniel. He was about to do the same thing. “Going mad from grief or nightmares is not weak! I should know. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re human.” Jason stared at him, his eyes wide, attentive. Jack felt Daniel’s hand on his thigh, the presence a comforting gesture. “I was suicidal, Jason. Do you think that knowledge comforts me? I am completely surprised that I’m in the commanding position I’m in. In any other command, I wouldn’t be…but then,” and Jack shrugged, “that point’s moot because I’d still be retired. This SGC isn’t a normal command and allowances are made. Especially in my case and I’m not unaware of that. I still, to this day, have nightmares because Charlie’s death was my fault. No matter what anyone says, I’ll always believe that. During our really bad days – the worst nightmares come back. They’re not always about Charlie,” and he looked over at Daniel, “but most of them are.”
“Especially after Naetu,” Daniel said softly. Jack’s brows raised in surprise. Daniel gave Jack a small, comforting smile. “Yes, Jack. I knew.”
Jack frowned. “How? Aside from that hemlock that snake-ass Apophis shoved down our throats?”
“I came to your house two nights after we came back from that hell hole. I couldn’t sleep, having nightmares of my own.”
Jack suddenly remembered and he nodded while looking down at his beer bottle. “You were pounding on my door.” His eyes then widened as he looked back up. “I was talking in my sleep, wasn’t I?”
“Big time,” Daniel confirmed with a nod. “You’d left the windows open, too. I didn’t want to startle you out of a nightmare, especially with my being outside – god knows who you might have mistaken me for – so I pounded on the door till you woke up.”
Jason watched them, his eyes flicking back and forth between them. He hadn’t even been a member of the SGC yet; he’d been in Indonesia at the time, on a mission with some SEALs. Part of him couldn’t help but feel left out, wishing he’d been with them then.
“That was a bad nightmare, too,” Jack went on.
“I know. I could tell.”
Jason frowned suddenly. “Daniel, why didn’t you just go inside and wake him up? Granted, trying to tap on a window wouldn’t have been a good idea, but you had a key then, right?” Daniel nodded and looked at Jack. When Jason looked, he saw guilt in big red letters. “What happened?” he asked.
Daniel took a deep breath. “Right after we got back from killing off Hathor, finally, Jack began having nightmares.”
“So did you. Brought up all that fucked up shit about Hathor and what she did to you.”
Daniel nodded, then looked at Jason. “Jack…he was yelling, cursing in his sleep. I was staying over, sleeping in the spare room. So, I ran to his room to help him. I’d woken him before, you know; on missions, with him sleeping next to me. But the nightmare about Hathor was worse than any I’d seen him get. I tried to wake him up the same way I’d done before and–“
“I punched Daniel,” Jack said softly, interrupting. He reached over and ran his thumb over Daniel’s cheek. “He had a good bruise there for about eight days.”
“Janet was pissed but Hammond understood it,” Daniel added. “So anyway, I decided that from then on, if I ever heard Jack yelling in his sleep again, I’d bet on the side of caution. I was prepared to go in and risk getting punched, but only if he hadn’t woken up from my pounding on the door for five minutes.”
“I’m sorry, Daniel.”
“I’ve repeated myself over and over again, Jack. There’s no reason to apologize.”
Jack looked at him, then shrugged, not getting it. He’d always feel guilty. He blew out a breath and looked back at Jason. “What we’re trying to say, Jason, is that both Daniel and I know how it feels to think you’re losing your mind. We know about nightmares. You’re not alone.”
Jason was silent for a moment, thinking. Then, he said slowly, “Except for one thing, Jack…these weren’t just nightmares. I saw things.”
Jack tapped Jason on the knee to make him look at him and Jason turned his head from the fire. “Asatay said you’d had visions.”
Jason grimaced. “His word for it. The real word is hallucinations.”
“Tell us, Jace,” Daniel prompted. He didn’t know why, but he had to know what they were.
Jason sighed. “When I got to the Diné planet, I thought the nightmares had gone…and mostly, they had…but…they went away completely only after my Grandfather had Asatay perform the cleansing ritual on me.” His lovers’ eyebrows rose, so he told them what happened in the dreams. “I think the raven is my spiritual guide now. I’d always thought it was the kit fox.”
Daniel thought about it. “It could be. Maybe the kit fox is your totem and the raven, your guide.”
Jack looked over at him. “You believe that stuff?”
Daniel blinked at him. “Jack, we’ve seen giant aliens in the form of smoke.”
“Good point,” Jack replied, jogging his brows. He turned his attention back to Jason. “So…about the visions?”
Jason winced. “Hallucinations, Jack. Hallucinations. I know my training well enough not to call them visions.”
“Jason,” Daniel said softly, though his voice was filled with impatience. “Remember the dream we shared? That was a vision, yes?”
Jack suddenly shook his head. “I still don’t get how that happened but yeah, if anything were to qualify as a vision–“
“You guys don’t get it. Visions are different. Hallucinations are what you see, wide awake, thinking it’s real. I’d meditate. And in so doing, started to ‘dream’ awake, or so Asatay tells me. But I was hallucinating. I know I was.”
“Bad?” Jack asked.
Jason shook his head. “Not nightmares. They became something to focus on, to wallow in. For a while, I didn’t want them to end.”
“What were they?” Daniel asked, though he had an idea.
“You two,” Jason said, looking at them. “You’d come to me, hold me, tell me things would be fine. You’d make love to me.”
Jack felt another urge to say something flippant and humorous but he refrained. Maybe later, when the mood lightened. “And?”
Jason sighed. “Suddenly, I wanted you gone.”
“Why?” Jack asked.
“I started see you everywhere. Sitting in the grand hall, standing outside while I worked…you became a taunt instead of a welcome relief and I couldn’t take it, not having you for real. I tried to rid you from my mind in a sweat lodge ceremony and I thought I had. Until I saw you, and I thought, right then and there, that I’d once and for all lost my mind.”
Jason’s voice faded and he dropped his forehead to his knees.
Daniel reached out, rubbing his forearm. “You didn’t.”
Jason sighed, fighting back the tears of guilt and shame. “You saw me,” he said softly. “You saw me go mad. Right before your eyes.” He felt hands on him and on the mat he sat on as his lovers pulled him closer. He couldn’t look up, couldn’t face them after that admission.
“Jason,” Jack urged. Jason wouldn’t look so Jack grasped his chin and forced it up. “You didn’t go mad. You only thought you did, and your reaction was understandable.”
“If it had happened to someone else, or to us, what would you have done?” Daniel asked him. “What would you have said to ease that person’s mind?”
Jason closed his eyes and after a few minutes of thought, he gave a heavy sigh of realization. “In a nutshell, I would have said they weren’t crazy.”
“Exactly,” Jack told him.
“Doesn’t keep me from feeling ashamed and stupid. Or not worthy enough to go back to work.”
Jack and Daniel made noises of impatience.
“Jason, you didn’t go all ‘Norman Bates’,” Jack told him.
“Yeah, trust me. If there’s anyone around here who has gone nuts, it’s me.”
Jason stared at him, his own impatience showing. “That’s not the same, Daniel.”
“No, even though my hallucinations were forced on me, what went on in my mind wasn’t any less real – or imaginary. But I didn’t know that by the time I was in that white room. You see my point?”
Jason shook his head.
Jack did. “Jason, crazy people think they’re sane, that what they see is real. You knew that what you saw were visions, hallucinations. Does that sound mad to you?”
Jason ground his jaw. “It’s a perfectly sound thing for someone to think when they’re having delusions. But Jack…the thing is, I had them. I had them. I was losing grip on reality.”
“Are you right now?” Jack suddenly asked, his eyes boring holes into Jason’s. “Do you think we’re an illusion?”
Jason swallowed as he looked from one to the other. “No. But sometimes, just sometimes, I fear that you are. I’m afraid you’ll disappear on me, that your whole return will be nothing more than a brain-induced schism. And Jack, that’s what scares me about what happened to me. I believed what I saw and I accepted it.”
“No, listen to me. Some people who’ve gone mad know they are going mad but can’t help the psychosis. That in itself drives them further into despair and allows the madness to take over. They’ve lost the will to fight.” He looked over at Daniel. “From what I read in your report of that damned Machello bug, you never once lost the will to fight the madness. I did, Daniel. I knew you weren’t real and I didn’t care. I didn’t fight, I didn’t–“
“That’s bullshit!” Jack snapped. “You said you tried to get rid of your hallucinations. That they became emotionally hard to handle. That you saw us appearing and wouldn’t accept what you saw. Even when we were there for real, you thought you were still hallucinating. And what did you do, Jace? You fought back. Scared the piss out of me in the process but…you…fought…back.”
Jack should be the psych major, Jason thought. He knew Jack was right and that right now, his own feelings of inadequacy and shame were making him see things worse than they really were. “Okay, I see your point.”
Jack sighed. “And?” he asked, knowing there was more.
“And I need to get a grip on this panic. I can’t have this panic controlling my emotions, like it did a while ago,” and he gestured at the woods. “What if it were to suddenly grab me offworld?”
Jack and Daniel rolled their eyes.
“No, seriously. What if we’re sent on a joint mission tomorrow or the next day and I’m separated from you, even for a few minutes? What if that fear, that panic, comes over me again?” Jason shook his head, then as Jack started to reply, he held up his hand. “I’m hoping that it’ll only take a few days out here. I’m hoping that maybe being with you again for than more than just the past two days will get my panic to wane.”
“No problem,” Jack said, taking a drink from his beer.
“We can help you with that,” Daniel told him confidently.
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “How, by playing hide and seek?”
“Hunter and prey,” Jack corrected, then looked a bit guilty. “I’m sorry we ambushed you. I should have taken your mood into consideration and I didn’t.”
It was Jason’s turn to roll his eyes. “Jack…”
Daniel reached up and cupped Jason’s face. “You feeling any better about getting any of this off your mind?”
“A little,” Jason frowned.
“Just a little? Want to talk about it more?” Daniel asked, knowing damn well Jason didn’t.
Jason confirmed it by shaking his head. “No. Why don’t we just put it to rest for now.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Jack said gently as he pushed himself to his feet. “Right now, how about we grab the hotdogs and marshmallows and tell each other nasty stories?”
Daniel smiled and nudged Jason, making him smile back. “You up for feeling sort of normal again?”
“Definitely,” Jason laughed nervously. Daniel moved forward, leaning on his knees as he put an arm around his shoulder and quickly kissed Jason’s temple…then his cheek…then the corner of his mouth. Jason turned his face toward Daniel’s and the next kiss was full on his lips. He opened his mouth, inviting Daniel’s tongue inside.
Jack watched them, grinning a little as he picked up the second hurricane lantern, lit it, and went over to one of the coolers to retrieve the meat. When he straightened and looked over at them, he saw their kiss intensify.
“Feeling left out over here,” he called out, grinning impishly as they broke apart. “Come grab some of this stuff,” he asked.
Daniel pushed off the ground and helped Jason to his feet. “C’mon, let’s go help the poor baby.”
Jason sniggered and walked over, grabbing the long metal camping forks, but stopping to grab Jack about the waist and kiss him…deeply. “So, what’s your idea of nasty?” he asked as he pulled back for air.
“Oh, you know,” Jack said, licking his lips and waving the package of hotdogs at him.
Daniel snorted. “Oh, brother. This means he wants to talk about embarrassing first times.”
Jason’s eyes widened and he pushed at Jack. “You’re not…you’re serious?”
Jack gave him a devilish grin. “Time to fess up, Jace.”
“Or?” Jason challenged.
“Or nothing,” Jack replied, but Jason knew there’d be a price. There always was.
Jason grabbed the large wicker mat from the cab of the truck, then set it down at one end of the fire. The utensils followed, then the hotdogs, the buns, the condiments, and finally the bag of marshmallows for dessert.
After their seats were moved closer to the fire, Jack sat down, poured a bit of beer over the hotdog, then placed it over the fire. The hotdog caught fire briefly, then as the alcohol burned away, the hotdog started to cook. Jason and Daniel watched with amusement, then copied him.
After a moment of silence, Daniel nudged Jack. “Aren’t these supposed to plump when you cook them?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “They’re smoked sausage wieners, Daniel.”
Jason snickered. “That means ‘yes’, Daniel, but not like Ball Park franks.”
Daniel smiled to himself. He knew the answer but sometimes it was much more fun to watch his lovers explain things to him. “Oh,” he replied, then poured more beer on his and stuck it low it the fire…waiting…waiting…waiting. Here it comes. Jack’s going to say it any moment. Yep, taking a breath, and…
“Daniel, I think your weenie’s toast.”
‘We have a winnah!’ Daniel thought, laughing out loud now.
“What?” Jack asked.
“You are so easy.”
Jack smirked. “You knew I was going to say that, yes. But I also knew you knew I was going to say that.”
Daniel’s smile widened. “And I knew that you knew that I knew you were going to say that.”
“Ah, but then I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew–“
“‘Scuse me?” Jason interrupted.
They looked at him.
“Daniel,” Jason said calmly. “I didn’t know you liked your weenies charred.”
“What?” Daniel asked, pulling it out of the fire. “It’s not charred, it’s…” One side of it was – or rather, the skin of it was. “Oh, well, easy to fix.”
“Smother it in mustard,” Jack and Jason said together, then fell about laughing as Daniel went to apply the dark mustard he preferred. He’d not removed the dried, crusted cover that all squeeze bottles developed. As it happened, this bottle of mustard was Jack’s and used for camping. It was therefore…old. Daniel squeezed – hard – and the mustard shot out at an odd angle, arching over the fire.
“He shoots, he scores!” Jack cried out.
“Wanna see that again?” Daniel asked as he aimed the nozzle at him.
“No, thank you.”
Once the main course was cooked and eaten, during which many penis jokes were exchanged, Jack showed Daniel how one could get truly anally retentive over the proper roasting of a marshmallow.
“Excuse me?” Daniel asked as Jason handed him two marshmallows. “I think you’ve had one too many beers, Jack,” he said as he skewered them onto the camping fork.
“Hey, I had four, but only three as one was wasted on two dogs.”
“Oh, well, big difference there,” Daniel teased. “And seriously, if you want to go all anal on marshmallows–“
“Please, there are ladies present,” Jason said and received a soft slap in the head from Jack. Jason started laughing. “I wasn’t talking about you, but hey, whatever gooses your cook.”
Daniel guffawed. “You mean cooks your goose.”
“No, I meant what I said,” Jason laughed back. “I’ve only had two beers.”
Daniel kept laughing. “I like that,” then his eyes focused on Jack. “But as I was saying, if you want to get picky, you can’t roast marshmallows properly on metal sticks. You need thin, stripped branches.”
“Well, we’ll do it your way tomorrow,” Jack answered, pretending to be serious. “What I’m talking about Daniel, is the fine art of browning. Creating a crust on the outside that doesn’t get black while at the same time, turning the inside into melted gooey stuff.”
“Oh, but they have to be a little burnt on some part or that roasted taste gets lost. Let’s test that. Do it your way, Jack, and I’ll do it mine. We’ll taste our results, one each.”
“Browned to perfection versus sloppy roasting. Deal.”
Jason tested the theory while watching Jack and Daniel tease each other competitively. In the end, to Jack’s disgust, the slightly burnt side won. As they got to roasting and eating without comparative analysis, Jack chose the time to bring back the earlier subject.
“As Holmes would say, the game’s afoot,” Jack said, “Although, he only ever said that in the movies.”
“You were paying attention in school.”
Jack reached over and touched Daniel’s chin with his sticky thumb, then snickered while Daniel wiped his chin and devised ways of getting Jack back.
Jason laughed to himself, watching them. He realized then that the talk had indeed done him some good and he felt much better than he had since he’d come home. He looked over and caught them staring at him, grins just barely showing on their faces.
“Nothing,” Jack said, then drew his fork away from the fire, pulled the brown crust off, then held it out in front of Jason’s lips. Jason leaned over, opened his mouth, and allowed Jack to feed him the very warm treat. Daniel did the same, but since Jack sat between him and Jason, he offered his to Jack. Jason didn’t let that stop him, however. He removed the crust from his own marshmallow, then reached over and offered it to Daniel, who decided to take some privilege with his fingers as well.
Jason groaned as Daniel swirled his tongue over his thumb, then sucked it into his mouth.
Jack grinned. “On that note, who’s the youngest of us to have ever gotten a blow job, good or bad?”
Daniel and Jason coughed, with Daniel nearly biting Jason’s thumb. They both gave Jack looks that were a mixture of amusement and annoyance.
“There’s no such thing as a bad blow job, Jack,” Jason finally said. “Just an inept one.”
“Yes there is, Jace. When it’s unfinished.”
“Good point,” Jason replied, still feeling the wetness of Daniel’s tongue on his thumb long after Daniel moved away. He looked over at Daniel and sucked on his lightly bitten thumb, gaining a smile from his lover.
Jack looked back and forth between them. “C’mon. We’ve already established that Jason was the youngest of us to have gotten laid first.”
“We have?” Jason asked in surprise as he removed his thumb from his mouth.
“You were fifteen. You said so several months ago after we took your grandfather to the Diné.”
“I did not.”
“Oh, right,” Daniel teased, joining in. “That was your grandfather. As I recalled, we tried to get that information out of you…”
“Only those ankle and hand cuffs weren’t enough of a persuasion,” Jack told him.
Jason felt his dick twitch, beginning to fill slightly as he remembered that night. They’d tried to tease the information out of him but he hadn’t been able to think after a while.
“Colten was his name,” Jack said.
“Seducing Jason was his game,” Daniel sniggered.
Jason rolled his eyes. “Oh, brother, Daniel. That was bad.”
“I know. C’mon, Jace. Fess up.”
“He didn’t seduce me. It was mutual – simple, needy, ‘gotta get your rocks off’ contact. No blow jobs, either.”
His lovers groaned in disappointment. “So, he wasn’t your first?” Jack asked, the fire of erotic foreplay apparent in his eyes.
Jason smiled, looking away, concentrating on another marshmallow.
“Jason,” Daniel drawled, prodding. “C’mon.”
“What was that name of your first guy, Daniel, and your age?” Jason asked, not looking at him yet as he pretended his marshmallow held better interest. “And Jack, yours, too. Let’s even things up, shall we?”
His lovers were silent for a minute.
“Play fair,” Jason taunted, “or no revelations from me.”
Daniel smiled mischievously as Jason’s marshmallow was nearly done. “His name was…” he began, waiting for both Jack and Jason to pop the hot, melted marshmallows into their mouths. When they did, Daniel said, “His name was Alex.”
Both Jack and Jason began to cough and Daniel started laughing as they shot him dirty looks. “Sorry, but I had to. Actually, his name was Alexi.”
“Alexi?” Jack asked, swallowing some beer to chase down the marshmallow.
“Sounds Russian,” Jason added as he too took a drink from his beer.
“He was…well, Ukrainian. Foreign Exchange student in my High School.”
“And you were…?” Jason prompted.
“And he was?” Jack asked.
“And your first first?” Jason asked.
Daniel smiled. “Did everything in one night before he had to go back to the Soviet Union. He’d graduated, you see. So had I. I was getting ready to go to college and he was going back to the Ukraine.”
“And how was he?” Jack asked, his interest in the answer obvious.
“No, no, Jack. I spilled…so to speak. Your turn. After, we give our filthy details.”
Jack grinned as he speared another marshmallow. “Seventeen,” he said, then saw Jason taking a sip from his beer and said, “by the name of Xavier.”
Jason spit out his beer. “Bastard.”
“Xavier?” Daniel asked.
“Sure, why not?” Jack asked, almost indignant.
“Sure, why not,” Jason said, then clicked his bottle against Jack and Daniel’s.
“Sure, why not,” Daniel repeated, then “So, Jace?”
Jason rolled his eyes. “You already know the answer.” His lovers grinned like fiends.
Jason narrowed his eyes. “And nothing. My first sexual contact was a complete disaster. And what my grandfather told you…I don’t wanna know. I thought we were alone.”
Jack grinned. “You were. He simply said you were distracted when he came home, then four days later, you’d been acting the way everyone does when they’ve had good sex.”
Jason closed his eyes and dropped his head. “No, no, no. He didn’t say that in the infirmary, did he?”
Jack and Daniel grinned and when Jason looked up and saw them, he growled. “That does it. Next time I get back there, I’m pounding that old man into the dirt.”
“Jason,” Daniel admonished. “He’s an old man.”
“Damn right. An old, sneaky, crafty…” Then Jason leered. “Think of Jack in forty years and that’s Grandfather.”
Daniel groaned but Jack smiled. “I’ll be happy to look that good in forty years.”
Jason grinned. “With long hair?”
Jack reached over and touched Jason’s. “Only if yours is, too.”
“Absolutely,” Daniel said as he suddenly got up and shifted places, setting his cushion down on Jason’s other side. Jason looked at him, then at Jack.
“What’s goin’ on?” he asked warily, then saw that Jack had no idea, either.
“I think it’s time for another game,” Daniel suggested. He’d been watching Jason most of the evening and now, it seemed that maybe what else Jason needed was a very good distraction, and as he’d spoken of the past, and of being distracted, Daniel had an idea.
Jack turned slightly, setting his camp fork down, having had enough sweet stuff for a while. As he framed Jason’s left side, Daniel turned and framed Jason’s right. Jason felt a bit hemmed in, but in truth, he really didn’t mind. Then suddenly, he yawned.
“Shit,” Jason grumbled awkwardly. “Sorry.” Then he caught a strange smile on Daniel’s face. “What?”
Jason’s yawn was perfect timing, Daniel thought. “Well, maybe you should turn in,” Daniel suggested.
Jason shook his head. “Daniel…”
Daniel smiled back, then winked at Jack. “Seriously. You should go lay down, pretend to sleep.”
Jack’s right brow went up. “Daniel?”
“He’s got an idea,” Jason said as he gave Daniel a calculating look.
“A dangerous idea from the looks of it,” Jack said as he took in the wicked gleam in Daniel’s eyes.
“Let’s see…” Daniel drawled out as he took Jason’s fork from him, then got to his feet and helped Jason to his, then reached down and pulled Jack up also. Daniel stared at Jason, a teasing, lustful smile on his lips. “Time to take a leak before we start this, Jace.”
Jason groaned. “Yeah, I do have to…”
Jason went off to find a spot. As he relieved himself, he willed his mind not to think because trying to piss with a growing hard-on was always irritating. He listened to the sounds of the dark forest as he buttoned up and returned.
“So, Daniel, what’s this idea? An idea that requires me to go to sleep without either of you?”
Daniel took him by the hand. “You’re camping by yourself, Jason,” he said as he led him to the tent.
“Okay,” Jason drawled. “And this game is called?”
Daniel smiled slowly. “First times, Jace.”
Jason stared at him and felt his dick twitch. He swallowed. “First times,” he echoed, then looked at Jack.
Jack returned the smile, though it looked just a bit devious. In truth, Jack was surprised, but he caught Daniel’s mood quickly and was very definitely up for this game. His eyes moved over Jason’s body, then up into his eyes.
Jason swallowed again. “And?” he asked Daniel.
“You aren’t with either of us.”
“We’re ourselves then,” Jason clarified.
“Yes,” Daniel answered, his voice lowering. “Now, get inside, get undressed, and…” Daniel walked away and grabbed one of the hurricane lanterns and handed it to him. “Here. You need to see, don’t you?”
“I guess I do,” Jason replied, swallowing yet again. He stepped inside the field tent, then turned around. Jack and Daniel weren’t there, then from the back of the tent, he heard footsteps, then Daniel’s voice. “You’re going to receive some surprise visitors, Jace,” he said, paused, then added, “try not to fight.”
Jason’s mouth went dry. “Oh god,” he whispered to himself. He hung the hurricane lantern from the center crossbar, turned down the wick slightly, lowering the level of light, then got undressed – carefully. His dick was throbbing now and any touch sent shivers of need through him. By the time he crawled under the thin blanket that lay over the unzipped bags used for padding, his body was vibrating with anticipation and desire. He positioned himself in the center, adjusted his pillow, then closed his eyes…and waited.
Over by the truck, Daniel removed his clothing while Jack made sure the fire was safe to go out by itself. He watched Daniel the whole time, his cock already hard from his lover’s idea. He walked over to Daniel as he removed his shirt.
“You sure do come up with some very good fantasies,” Jack whispered.
Daniel gave Jack a filthy smile as his jeans and briefs came off. “So do you,” he said, getting Jack to match his smile.
“Talking of first times spark this idea, or…?”
“Mostly,” Daniel replied. “But, I wanted to take Jason’s mind off things and this seemed to be a good way.”
Naked now, but with their clothes in their hands, they started for the tent when Daniel suddenly grabbed Jack and pushed him against his truck. Jack started to howl in protest as his skin was shocked by the cold metal, but he was silenced by Daniel’s kiss and his warm body rubbing against him. Jack became further aroused as their cocks bumped and ground, and he released a deep growl in his throat.
That was exactly what Daniel was waiting for. He stepped away, then pulled Jack with him toward the tent.
“Dammit, Daniel,” Jack whispered in protest.
“Got you fired up though, didn’t it?” Daniel asked.
“I didn’t need any help,” Jack whispered emphatically. He pulled Daniel back towards him, rubbing his very hard cock against his ass. “Feel that?”
“Yes,” Daniel breathed, grinding back in return.
“Yes, you fired me up, Daniel. Are you?” Jack whispered against his neck before he gently pushed Daniel forward.
Daniel swallowed and looked over his shoulder. “Bastard,” he mouthed as he got to the door of the tent. Jack only smiled.
Jason could hear them whispering but not what they were saying. They were too far away. He forced himself to calm, to breathe deeply, to somehow pretend that he was sleeping. For about two minutes, he actually managed it, then was literally startled and awakened as he felt two very warm, and obviously naked, bodies lying down next to him, their hands sliding over him.
“What the fu–” he started to say but a hand clamped over his mouth and a voice, Daniel’s, whispered in his ear.
“Shh, we won’t hurt you, Jason. Shh.”
Focusing in the dim light, Jason saw Daniel on his left, Jack on his right, and Daniel’s hand over his mouth.
“We’ve followed you here. Thought you’d like some company,” Jack whispered.
Daniel moved his hand away and Jason said, “Daniel?” Then he looked over at Jack. “Colonel?”
“In the flesh,” Jack said.
“Are you cra–” and his words were cut off as Jack kissed him, thrusting his tongue into his mouth. The blanket was thrown off and hands covered his skin, roaming over his chest, abdomen, thighs.
“Damn, Jack. Feel how hard his muscles are. God, I’ve wanted to touch him for a long time. Now, we are,” Daniel said, taking Jack’s hand and sliding it over Jason’s pectorals, then down over his navel. “Jack, feel,” Daniel added, his voice filled with delight. They discovered Jason’s navel ring. Jack broke away and moved down, tonguing the ring immediately and sending spikes of pleasure through Jason’s cock.
Jason moaned loudly. “Oh God, yes.”
Jack suddenly curled the fingers of his hand around Jason’s cock and stroked, slowly, getting a hiss from Jason’s throat. “Feels nice,” he whispered as he looked at Daniel. “Feel him.”
Daniel reached down, sliding his fingers through Jason’s dark curls before wrapping his fingers around the base. He moved his hand upward just as Jack took his hand away.
“Nice,” he whispered. He leaned over and pressed his lips against Jason’s ear. “Hot, hard, wanting to be sucked, I’ll bet.” Daniel smiled as Jason closed his eyes. He moved down and quickly took Jason’s nipple into his mouth. Biting down and sucking hard on the stiffened nub, he smiled as Jason gasped. “Tell me,” he ordered.
“Yes,” Jason replied. “Yes.” He couldn’t do anything but feel and touch as he was trapped by their hands, their bodies pressed firmly against him. He closed his eyes as they felt, kissed, sucked, and licked his body. Jack moved down and took the head of Jason’s cock into his mouth, gaining a gasp from his lover. It was quickly following by a hungry groan as Daniel gave him a graphic example of what was to come and thrust his tongue in and out of Jason’s mouth. Jason clasped his fingers tightly through Daniel’s hair as his lover’s tongue literally fucked his mouth.
“Want to be fucked, Jason?” Daniel asked as he pulled away.
“Stupid question,” came Jason’s reply.
Daniel pushed back, kneeling next to him. His lips formed a teasing smile. “Which one of us then?” he asked, but he looked down at Jack when he said it. Jason didn’t know how to answer. He wanted them both. However, Jack answered for him.
“Me,” he said deeply, moving his mouth from the head of Jason’s cock long enough to say the word before returning to his lover’s cock. He wrapped his lips around the head, swirling his tongue and flicking it over the slit. After a few minutes of this exquisite torture, Jack changed tactics, wanting to hear more approval from Jason’s voice. He took the head an inch into his mouth, sucking fervently, doing it much harder and faster than before.
“Fucking hell,” Jason said, his heart hammering in his chest as he yanked Daniel back down and kissed him hard. Daniel groaned, kissing him back. He broke the kiss and pulled away, his hands pinning Jason’s to the ground on either side of his head. As Daniel straddled his chest, Jack looked up and reached over, passing his hand over Daniel’s ass.
He pulled Jason’s cock from his mouth. “Taste him, Jason,” Jack whispered, then dipped down, licking his balls as his hands stroked Jason’s inner thighs, spreading them wide. “You like this? You want this?”
“Yes,” Jason whispered.
Daniel stared down at his lover, and his breathing hitched in anticipation as Jason looked up into his eyes, then snaked out his tongue, touching the tip of his cock.
Daniel reacted by running his fingers through Jason’s hair. “Again. That feels good.”
Jason was so caught up in the taste of Daniel’s skin and the feel of his body, as well as that of Jack’s hands and mouth, that he was taken by surprise when his knees were pushed up, baring his ass…and sphincter. He moaned, breathing hot against Daniel’s cock, as Jack’s tongue ran down his perineum toward its goal. “J–Colonel,” he whispered against Daniel’s shaft, making the man shudder.
“Jack,” Jack corrected. He couldn’t help but smile…and he understood completely. It would be difficult to maintain role-play when someone’s got their tongue near your ass.
Daniel took one of Jason’s hands and wrapped it around his shaft, then guided him to stroke. Jason got the message; he’d done this before. Daniel wanted him to jerk him off, to suck him while he watched. He gazed up into Daniel’s eyes, seeing the need and desire mount higher.
Daniel returned the gaze, mouthing the words, “Suck me.” He wanted to watch himself spill his seed into Jason’s mouth while catching the pleasure created by Jack’s busy tongue. He wanted to see Jason’s threshold pushed to its limits. Daniel smiled as Jason took the head of his cock into his mouth, his lips sucking eagerly as his hand pumped; his firm strokes knowing just how and where to push Daniel to his own limits.
Jason closed his eyes, moaning from the stimulation he received. His body felt taut, ready. Then Jack’s tongue was at his anus, teasing the sphincter muscle in small, tight circles. “Oh God,” he gasped hoarsely as he briefly pulled his mouth from Daniel.
“You like what he’s doing?” Daniel asked.
“Yes,” Jason breathed before opening his half-lidded eyes, staring back at Daniel. “Wanted it for a long time.”
“You got it,” Jack whispered just before thrusting his tongue inside. His fingers took hold of Jason’s balls at the same time, kneading softly, his thumb rubbing small circles while leaving his cock unattended.
“Fuck me, Jack,” Jason whispered as he stared up at Daniel.
“Make me come, baby,” Daniel said, the fire in his eyes showing Jason his need. He was close. He couldn’t believe how close he was. “Make me come,” and he wrapped his own hand over Jason’s, increasing the speed of Jason’s hand on his cock.
Jack withheld a smile at Daniel’s words as he worked Jason into a frenzy, fucking him faster with his tongue. He felt Jason’s muscles tighten and loosen, begging for more, so he gave it to him.
Jason’s eyes widened from the stimulation as he looked into Daniel’s face.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Daniel asked him.
Jason didn’t answer. He suddenly needed Daniel to feel more. He stroked harder, faster, enjoying the small sounds that came from Daniel’s throat – and still he wanted more. With his free hand, he reached underneath and found Daniel’s anus, delighted when Daniel’s eyes widened with lust. Daniel moved forward, over him, leaning on his free hand, giving Jason easier access. “Yes, Jace. Fuck me hard, make me come.”
Jason smiled, receiving louder, more demanding sounds the moment he thrust his middle finger deep inside Daniel’s ass, fucking him immediately. Daniel’s hips moved in time with his rapid panting, the sounds in his throat no longer articulate; Jason knew he was near. He quickly took the head of his cock into his mouth, sucking hard as he corkscrewed the motion of his finger.
“Jace!” Daniel cried out, coming hard, filling his mouth. Jason swallowed the fluid in his mouth as he stilled his hand, but he wanted more from Daniel. He continued the corkscrewing motion of his finger until Daniel started to jerk with the sensitivity, his cock barely squirting what was left of his release.
Then Jason felt something rub his prostate, sending jolts of pleasure through his body, and he realized that Jack had two lubed fingers inside him. He’d been so consumed with making Daniel come that he hadn’t noticed…until Jack got his attention.
“Jack,” he panted as another jolt went through him, making his hips buck.
Daniel grinned, then carefully moved off Jason’s chest to lie next to him. He kissed Jason roughly, taking some of his leftover come into his mouth, making Jason moan in response.
Then Jack’s voice was at his ear, startling him. “Want me?” Jack asked as he pushed Jason onto his side toward Daniel. Jason moaned, unable to answer properly with Daniel’s tongue down his throat.
Good enough, Jack told himself. With his cock already lubed, he positioned himself over his lover’s sphincter and pushed in just a bit. Jason broke the kiss, gasping as he stared into Daniel’s eyes. “Yes, Jack.”
Daniel watched Jack lift Jason’s leg, then bit his lip through a smile as Jack pushed harder. Jason’s eyes closed and Daniel took the opportunity to do two things. One, push up and kiss Jack, and two, take Jason’s cock into his hand. He heard the gasp and smiled against Jack’s lips.
“Fuck him into the forest floor, Jack.” He lay back down, cupping Jason’s face with one hand while his hand worked him with the other. Jason opened his eyes, staring into his lover’s face. “Daniel,” he whispered, then pressed his lips together, breathing out harshly through his nose as Jack plunged deep.
Daniel smiled. “That’s it, Jack,” he said. “Fuck him deep.”
Jack felt Jason’s ass grip his cock tightly as he ground into him. He groaned again, biting and sucking against Jason’s neck. Strands of his hair caught in his mouth and he sucked at that, too. Jason was so tight. So tight. He hooked Jason’s thigh tightly in the crook of his arm, then swiveled his hips, thrusting deeper…and hitting his lover’s gland more firmly.
“Jack,” Jason cried, his eyes never leaving Daniel’s hard, lustful gaze. “Fuck me,” he barely whispered. Jack growled against his ear, pulling his earlobe between his teeth.
“Like this?” Jack asked as he thrust harder.
Jason swallowed convulsively, his breath coming in gulps. “Yes,” he finally replied.
“Faster, Jack,” Daniel said, his eyes refusing to look away from Jason’s, making the man stare back. “Make him come like a freight train,” he ordered softly.
“God, yes,” Jack replied. He ground into Jason as the sweat began to form drops on their skin, rolling off to soak into the padding below them.
Then Daniel saw it. The tell-tale look in Jason’s eyes. “Yes, yes,” he cajoled.
Jason knew what he meant; knew Daniel recognized it. He felt his balls tightening, the heat gathering deep inside, crawling upward through his cock. Daniel twisted his hand just as Jack began to gyrate, corkscrewing himself deeper. Jason felt his body tremble as his orgasm shook him. “Ah God,” he gasped, clasping his fingers through Daniel’s hair, coming as Daniel and Jack meant him to. Like a freight train. His body bucked and surged, spurting his release over Daniel’s hand.
“Fuck!” Jack gasped. As his cock was squeezed spasmodically, he pounded hard and fast into Jason’s body. “So good, so good, so…” and Jack suddenly tossed his head back, his body becoming rigid as his orgasm erupted. “Ah, fuck yeah!” he shouted, spilling his come quickly into his lover’s ass.
Daniel smiled, watching his favorite thing in his entire world happen before him. His lovers coming. He slowed down the movement of his hand and milked the remaining semen from Jason’s cock.
Jason closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against Jack’s neck. His body shook with the tremors of his release and he felt Jack’s body doing the same.
“I fucking love you two.”
Jason opened his eyes, knowing immediately that he’d had a longer post-coital doze than he’d intended. He felt Jack and Daniel on either side of him and their coverlet lay partially over all of them, leaving their chests bared. He faced Daniel slightly, and was leaning back against Jack in a partial spoon. Jack’s arm was also cushioning his neck.
Jason grinned, but in sympathy. Jack’s arm had to be numb. He leaned forward, kissed Daniel’s jaw and got a deep sigh in response, which told Jason that Daniel was asleep, not merely dozing. He lifted his head to adjust himself and felt Jack move his arm out from under him, placing it over his head instead. Jason leaned back and looked over his shoulder, finding Jack’s eyes half-lidded, watching him. He smiled and lifted his face to Jack’s to receive a light kiss, which became firmer for a moment.
“How you feeling?” Jack barely whispered against his ear when he broke the kiss.
Jason nodded wordlessly, telling Jack he was okay. Jack felt Jason’s body relax against him, knowing Jason would fall asleep. He kissed his hair, hoping that Jason’s post-stress fears wouldn’t take too long to heal.
Alex walked into the control room as the klaxon went off. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Offworld activation, source unknown,” Sergeant Davis answered. General Hammond entered the room, asked the same question and received the same answer. It took several seconds, but the signal finally came through, audio only.
“Sir, it’s SG-12.”
“SG-12, this is Hammond. What’s your situation?”
On the other end, there was a high pitch radio squelch which had everyone covering their ears for a moment. Two seconds later, “Major Montgomery, this is Hammond, please respond.”
There was no answer and the wormhole shut down. “Dial them back, Sergeant.”
“They still have the MALP on the planet, sir?” Alex asked, alarmed. He knew Major Leila Montgomery. She wouldn’t call in without a good reason.
“Yes, Captain. They hadn’t sent it back yet.”
They waited and when the wormhole opened, and the MALP’s signal was established, nothing in the area could be seen. Hammond sighed. This meant that a search and rescue was needed, and very possibly SG-1’s help. He did not want to call them back, but other teams were offworld. SG units 1, 2 and 3 were the only ones available and it might not be enough. There were no UAVs available, either.
“Shut down the gate.”
“Sir?” Alex asked.
“I’m recalling SG-1 from their leave. Sergeant, dial-up the Alpha Site. Contact Teal’c. I’m be in my office, calling in Major Carter.”
It was Alex’s turn to jump in. “Sir, she didn’t go to San Diego because her father couldn’t make it. She’s probably at home.”
“And how did you discover this, Captain?” Hammond asked.
“I was there, sir, when she said it in the cafeteria. She and Doctor Fraiser were having a late dinner when my team and I joined them.”
“I see. Thank you, Captain.”
“You’re welcome, sir. Shall I call Connor and Al off the firing range?”
“They’re at the annual testing?”
“Call them down, Captain. They can take care of it later.”
Jack was getting the bacon out of the cooler when the SAT phone rang from the dash of his truck. Opening the door, he grabbed it and answered. Jason and Daniel exchanged frowns. They’d hoped they wouldn’t be disturbed on this trip but only one person could be calling.
“O’Neill?” Jack asked as he saw their expressions. “Yes, sir…No contact?…What about…Yes, sir…Understood, sir. We’ll be packed and on our way back shortly.”
Whatever protests were on Daniel’s lips died at Jack’s tone of voice. Someone was in trouble.
“What’s happened?” he asked as Jack hung up the phone.
“We have to pack up, folks. Hammond’s recalling our leave.”
“Why?” Jason asked, also knowing that tone of Jack’s very well.
“SG-12’s missing. He didn’t give the details except to say that our teams and SG-3 are the only ones available.”
Daniel literally gawked. “But…we have 22 teams.”
“I know,” Jack replied.
Daniel sighed. “Well, this bites.”
Jason sighed as he watched Daniel put out the morning campfire. “I guess this is probably a good thing.”
“How so?” Daniel frowned.
“I need to get back into it. May as well be as soon as possible.”
“I think you’re able to handle anyone or anything, Jace,” Jack told him.
“Thanks. I wish it would be that easy.”
“Do you think you’re up to going back to–“
“Don’t worry, Jack. I’ll be fine. Let’s just hope it’s not snakes,” Jason said.
“Or large, mechanical spiders,” Daniel added.
Jack grimaced. “Which turned into crabs and wasps. I mean, was that just weird or what?”
“Gross,” Jason shuddered. “Glad I never saw them up close and personal.”
Daniel suddenly sniggered.
“What?” Jack asked.
“Talk about your case of crabs.”
Jack rolled his eyes as Jason barked out a laugh. “Only you, Daniel.”