… a little therapy …
The bathroom was filled with steam, the mirror obscured. Daniel whisked aside the shower curtain and stepped out of the tub, grabbing his towel off the hook nearby. His skin wet and gleaming, he set to work dulling it down and drying it off but started on his hair first. Giving it a good rub, he moved to the thinner curly patch above his cock, pulling up his ball sac to get anything between folds of skin.
Lifting one leg to the sink, he grabbed the hand mirror and looked at the underside of his balls and the surrounding area. He didn’t appear to need shaving but he felt a little scratchy nonetheless. Grabbing the razor, he froze and stared at it, a memory of Khalek intruding when he’d thought they’d left for the evening.
Sighing, Daniel set down the razor, not trusting his guilt-ridden, warring emotions to keep his hand steady. Groom later, he told himself. Rubbing at his chest and abdomen, he left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen to mix himself a drink. Something easy, he mused as he wrapped the towel around his waist and took the pitcher of tomato mix from the fridge. Opening the cupboard, he stared at the few bottles Mitchell had stashed in his pantry and grinned, the memory of that conversation bringing welcome amusement.
“You need stocking up! How’re we supposed to hang out if you don’t shore up on the firewater?”
“Do you always talk in military metaphors?”
“Look who you’re talking to.”
“Good point, and I have Guinness, usually for Jack when he stops by, merlot and bourbon. You’re welcome to any.”
“C’mon, man, we’re headin’ to the liquor store.”
That little excursion had resulted in melon and citrus vodka, some black medallion tequila, and assorted fruit juices and mixes. Mitchell didn’t do anything half-assed.
Neither did Jack, but then Jack was easier. Park a Guiness in front of him and he was a happy camper. Thoughts of Jack brought a wistful sigh as Daniel mixed up his drink. He really wished Jack hadn’t had to move. Stuffing the thoughts away as useless, he focused on his drink, adding a little more vodka.
After putting the pitcher back in the fridge, Daniel picked up his glass and headed for the bedroom, hoping to feel calmer once the booze hit. Unfortunately, when his cell phone rang, he jumped, nearly spilling his drink. Pulling the phone from his back pocket and flipping it open, he sighed with irritated resignation, expecting to hear Sam or Cameron on the other end of the line.
“Hey there,” Jack said, with an unusually deep timbre.
The sound sent a rush of feeling through Daniel’s body that nothing else could have matched except perhaps habañeros. “Hey,” he answered, a huge smile lighting up his face.
“Not today. What’re you doing calling me at this time of day?”
“It’s just after lunch there, Daniel. I can’t call you in the middle of my afternoon?”
“Jack. Pentagon. Bureaucrats, meetings, endless droning–“
“Yeah, yeah, okay, I took the afternoon off, wise-ass.”
Daniel stuck his tongue between his teeth, grinning. “So what’re you up to, then?”
“Oh about six–“
“Jack.” Jack snickered and Daniel could picture it bittersweetly. He sighed heavily. “Wish you were here, not there.”
“No, I could just use the company.”
“I’m so not reassured by that.”
“I miss you, that better?” Daniel shot back with an even heavier sigh as he laid down on the bed, legs over the side.
“Nope, sorry, that won’t do.” Jack’s sigh had him breathing heavily into the phone and it made Daniel shiver.
“I miss you. Better?”
“Better. And how’re you doing with it all?”
“No offense, Daniel, but better than you, which is why I’m calling.”
“I’m fine, Jack.”
The tone made Daniel suspicious. “Have you been talking to Mitchell?”
“Ah,” Jack repeated. “I tried to make it out there but I’m tied up.”
Instantly, thoughts of Jack being literally tied up sent the order to his cock that it was time to stand to and be recognized. “Tied up, huh?” Daniel grinned, unable to resist.
“Not goin’ there,” Jack warned, clearing his throat.
“You’re no fun,” Daniel automatically replied, the old banter making him feel calmer than he had when he’d walked through the door.
“That’s not what you said last time.”
“Watch it now. You’re veering into dangerous territory.”
“Standard recon, nothing more.”
Daniel sniggered, then followed it with another sigh, wanting to tell Jack again that he missed him. “You wanna know how I am? Okay, how’s this: I feel better hearing your voice. What’s that tell you?”
“That you’re more screwed up than I thought.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “Jack.”
“Don’t roll your eyes, Daniel. You know I’m only teasing. Seriously, how’re you doing?”
“No injuries. Mitchell got pretty banged up but he’ll be–“
“Daniel. Answer the question. How’re you *coping*?”
Daniel sighed heavily once more and took a long drink from his glass as he pulled off his towel and tossed it beside him. Swirling the bottom of his cold, sweating glass over his navel, the chill pulled an interesting response from his dick. With Jack’s voice in his ear, and memories of ice cubes, his mood was altering into something better. Problem was, Jack was doing the ‘you wanna talk about it?’ thing.
“I’m fine, Jack, all things considered.” He could just see Jack nodding at him, waiting for the rest.
“I read the reports. Mitchell’s was far more enlightening than yours.”
Daniel cringed. He hadn’t detailed anything in his report, not even the idea about running around to the other gate entrance to take Khalek by surprise. He’d simply stated, ‘proceeded to B door and took aim.’
“That was some bit of thinking you did there,” Jack said, his version of a high compliment. But it was also meant as a lead-in for Daniel, which Daniel didn’t supply.
“I knew what to do, don’t know why.” Daniel closed his eyes and rubbed at his eyelids and brows with the bottom edge of his glass. The evaporation from the ice felt good.
“It’s called instinct, Daniel.”
“Jack, I know what it was. And I’m fine with having to kill him. I’d suggested it in the first place.”
“I know you did. It’s just that you’re not usually the one to suggest it. Besides, it’s one thing to tell others to kill and quite another to do it yourself.”
“Well, me and Mitchell.”
“Don’t do that, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Jack, I’m fine with that. Seriously, I am.”
“But there’s something else. What’s thrown you about him?”
Jack knew him so well it was annoying. Daniel sat up and drained half the glass before setting it on the nightstand, knowing damn well that he’d have to talk about this. Jack was a terrier sometimes. “Have you been sent all the information on his little stay in the iso room?”
“I’ve got it.”
“The video, too?”
“Yeah, why? Is it that taunting he did?”
Daniel rubbed at his eyes again, this time with the heel of his hand. “No, not that bit. There’s something that’s not on the security feeds. Something that’s not in the report, that will never be in the report.”
“What?” Jack’s tone was all business. Mr. Protector. “What, Daniel?”
Sighing, Daniel was suddenly glad that upon taking his new position, Jack had laid down the law with the NID where surveillance crap was concerned. It was so nice to have one over the NID. Even so, Daniel still wasn’t too comfortable with voicing what had happened.
“The reason that I knew how to get around his defenses and kill him is because I knew how he thought. He’d been… in my mind. And that shit’s happened once already, with the replicators.”
“Daniel, you’re not making sense.”
“Okay, remember last year when I was taken by Replicator Sam?”
“How could I forget.”
“Right, well, bits of that time have been coming back. Not precise information but feelings. I know that she was getting into my head but I also know I got into hers.”
“Is that… Carter thought you’d had something to do with those bugs freezing up. Jesus.”
“I don’t remember that, but I think that the reason I was able to get into her mind was because of my having been ascended before.”
“Some leftover gift?”
“Something. I don’t know how. I don’t know what I did. I only know I did it. The point is that Khalek snuck into my mind while I was asleep and I think I–“
“What?” Jack asked loudly.
“Just listen to me, Jack. I somehow got into his mind in return so that’s what led me to know that I could shut him out and take him by surprise.”
“And he got into your mind when?” Jack asked, wanting the justification.
“The night before his great escape? I’d spent it on-base. I was in my quarters and while I was sleeping, he entered my mind.”
“Shit,” Jack groaned. “What’d he do, Daniel?”
“He replaced you in my dream.”
“Yeah,” Daniel sighed, lying back again. He didn’t realize at first that his hand was around his cock, stroking the shaft slowly.
“And what kind of dream was it?”
“The cabin dream I have, that fantasy I have?”
“Goddamn it, Daniel.” The tone wasn’t accusatory but sympathetic and angry. “What happened?”
Daniel made a growling noise, giving Jack his answer. “At first, I was scared and mad and fought with him.”
There was a pause. A long, long pause. “At first?”
Daniel suddenly realized where his hand was and pulled it away, a strangled sound escaping his throat. “I didn’t want him. I know I didn’t. But there I was, in my dream, letting him…”
“It *was* a dream, right?”
Daniel swallowed. Hard. “At first, and I startled myself awake. But, he was still in my head and…”
“Nothing. I’m getting over it, Jack, but the problem is… he touched something I didn’t think was in me and I’m really kinda bothered by it.”
Jack covered the mouthpiece and Daniel heard him cussing up a storm.
“I’m here, Daniel, I’m sorry.”
“Am *I* okay? Shit, yes, Daniel, I’m fine, but you’re not. I’m on the computer right now, calling up a ride.”
“Jack, that’s not necessary.”
“Yes, it is. We’re finishing this conversation in person.”
“Daniel, goddamn it, you’re not anywhere near over it. He fucked with your mind, literally, and damned if I’ll let you handle something like that by yourself.”
“I’m capable of handling it, Jack. I’m a big boy.”
“Yes, you are, but this is different and you know it. I’ll be there in a few hours.”
Daniel hung up the phone and tossed it on top of his towel. Covering his eyes, he suddenly realized he was shaking. Jack was right. He wasn’t over it. And what was worse, he was gaining a very healthy erection just remembering what Khalek had done to him.
In the dream he’d been having, he and Jack had been in bed, with Jack between his legs, sucking him off beautifully. Then he’d looked down but instead of seeing Jack, it had been Khalek, smirking around his cock. Daniel had tried to push him off but Khalek was sucking him, and sucking him, and god, sucking him. And Daniel had given in.
Then Khalek’s voice had been in his mind, telling him that he’d tie him down, whip him till he bled, make him come from the pain. And that he knew Daniel would enjoy it.
“No, get out of my mind,” Daniel had ordered, shaking himself awake.
But Khalek hadn’t left and had somehow made him believe he was in his room, at the end of the bed, naked, crawling up between his legs, taking his cock into his mouth for real, those intense eyes staring into his own. Then fingers, hot and stiff and painful, like fire pokers, had breached his asshole, fucking him with rapid, rough strokes.
And Daniel had spread his legs wide, staring down at that mouth, at those fingers, enjoying it, begging for more. “Yeah, like that, oh god, just like that.”
“Even better is this,” and Khalek suddenly had a hold of his ankles, pushing Daniel’s legs up, knees to his chest, feet over his head. Daniel had looked down and screamed, “NO!” but there was nothing he could do to stop what was about to happen.
Khalek’s cock looked like an iron phallus just pulled out of the fire. Hot, glowing, lethal, and Khalek was sliding it into him, slowly, clamping a hand over Daniel’s mouth as he screamed again. The pain was tremendous but Daniel had realized that he was also very hard, and lifting his hips, returning the thrusts.
“You’ll beg me for it,” Khalek purred. “That old bastard can’t give you the delicious pain only I can deliver.” He’d pulled out then and gone back down on him, sucking Daniel so hard that the pain had rushed through him, bringing him off the bed, and with it, an orgasm so intense it had made him gray out.
After waking, Daniel had found himself soaked in drying sweat, come all over his belly and pubic hair. Shame and revulsion had filled him, just as the memory of it did now. He’d liked it, liked the feeling of pain mixed with the pleasure, and with it, the disturbing images Khalek had fed him during the sex.
His normal sexual fantasies involving a little pain, a little bondage, and a bit of force, had all been twisted around and perverted. Now, when Daniel thought about them, he ended up wanting nothing but the secret, sick need for Jack to show up, tie him face down, and shove a hot poker up his ass.
A shudder passed through Daniel and he got up and ran into the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. When his stomach settled, he got back into the shower and turned on the cold water, not daring to touch his cock, wishing Jack would hurry the hell up.
. . .
“You look like hammered shit,” Jack said, coming in as Daniel shut the door. He looked down to find Daniel in nothing but a towel. “On second thought, maybe not hammered.”
Then Daniel found himself wrapped up in Jack’s arms, his lips eventually making their way to his own with the soft, loving touch of his tongue. Desire made an appearance and Daniel grabbed at his back as he returned the kiss deeply.
“Hi,” he said, breaking away slightly.
Jack licked his lips, tasting. “You’ve been brushing your teeth more than necessary. That tells me bad things.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it just now,” Daniel whispered over his chin and neck. “I want you to fuck me.”
Jack grinned as he caressed the side of Daniel’s face, as if an unseen hair needed to be stroked away. “Ever the smooth-talker.”
Daniel kissed him, then kissed him again. “I’m quite serious,” he breathed heavily, pulling at Jack’s clothes as he walked backward toward the bedroom. Jack soon got the message but he was taking too long. Daniel wanted passion, roughness, the knowledge that this was Jack, not…
“I need that nice hot cock inside me,” he said by the time they got to the bedroom door.
At that point, Jack’s need for discussion shut down. “No fucking problem,” he said gruffly, kissing Daniel as hard as he could while trying to pull off his shoes, socks and pants. It was difficult, so Daniel helped. Sort of. Half-kissing, half-yanking, he dragged Jack on top of him as he fell backward onto the mattress. With that fervent tongue in his mouth, Jack gave up caring what came first. Clothes were just off by the time he sucked a nipple between his teeth, while his hands went everywhere else.
From somewhere between them, he heard the pop of a cap and the sudden feeling of cool gel on his dick made him suck in his breath. “Damn, you are impatient. This a mood or something specific?”
“Talk later, fuck now,” Daniel said quickly as he kissed him with more passion, raising his knees and bringing his ass off the bed. A moan followed into Jack’s mouth, which pretty much said fuck me.
Jack didn’t bother asking for clarification, either. Lining up, he made sure Daniel had also lubed himself before he pushed inside that wonderful heat.
“Yes,” Daniel gasped, breaking away to suck in his bottom lip. It was real now. Very much real. Nothing like what he’d been thinking of. Relief flooded him and he damn near came from it, but Daniel kept the orgasm at bay for the moment. He grabbed at Jack’s shoulders, then his hair, as the pressure of Jack’s cock filled him completely. Tingling pleasure swarmed over his skin and down his fingers and toes and, impatient for the thrusting to begin, he moved his hips sharply upward.
“Fuck,” Jack whispered, staring down at him as he began, using slow, even strokes, moving them both across the bed until he grabbed hold of the sheets for leverage. Daniel clutched at him, hands slapping down over his ass, and Jack got the message to move harder. “This’ll be over too soon this way,” he warned, quickening his thrusts.
“Need it to be like this,” Daniel breathed, throwing his head back, eyes closed. “Harder, make me feel it’s you.”
At that moment, Jack knew what Daniel was trying to accomplish. He didn’t stop, didn’t slow down. Instead, he made sure Daniel knew it was his dick inside him, his body covering him, his arms around him. It seemed to last for ages but once Daniel started up the ritual of moans and the thrashing back and forth of his head, Jack knew he’d come soon. He loved watching him, hearing him, feeling him.
When Daniel raised his knees higher and locked his ankles across Jack’s back, that’s all he needed. He pounded into him, slapping against his lover’s ass, and felt the muscles tightening around his cock. “Shit,” he gasped, and captured Daniel’s mouth just as Daniel yelled through his orgasm, fingernails digging into his back. For the first time in a while, the slight pain and the tight heat brought him off and he came. Forever, it seemed.
Daniel felt that special thrumming throughout his body and held onto Jack until it began to fade. Slowly, he let his legs down, wincing with regret as Jack withdrew. Arms went around him then and Jack kissed him so thoroughly that Daniel nearly cried from it. God, he missed Jack.
. . .
“Wanna talk about it now?” Jack asked as he padded after Daniel, heading for the shower. Glancing at the clock, he marveled at his own good timing. It was only 10 pm, so it hadn’t taken that long, flying by jet. Daniel’s welcome was one for his own record books, but it really wasn’t why Jack was there. Okay, maybe half the reason, but seriously, it would take Daniel getting messed with to put Jack on a jet plane in the middle of the afternoon.
In the shower, Daniel didn’t answer as they wet down and soaped each other up. “Daniel?”
Sighing, Daniel looked into his eyes. “It’s gonna piss you off.”
“And that’s stopping you?” Jack asked, half-joking but mostly surprised.
“No, just warning you.”
“Okay, consider me warned. C’mon, Daniel, tell me why you’re so spooked.”
Daniel took a deep breath and explained the dream and the telepathic… rape that wasn’t a rape… in detail. He then explained how he’d felt afterward and how every goddamn time he thought about Khalek, he got a hard-on.
“I don’t like what he did, Jack, and I’m not like him, I’m not.”
“No, you’re not. You don’t like inflicting pain, Daniel,” he said, receiving a dark look. Turning Daniel around to soap his back, he went on. “Listen to me, what Khalek did was to pervert a very normal part of your sexuality. He did it on purpose. To fuck with your mind.”
“Literally,” Daniel said glumly.
“Literally. What he did doesn’t make you like he was, Daniel. He got off on killing. You don’t. He got off on making you suffer through having sex.” He turned Daniel around to face him. “It’s about the reason for the pain, Daniel. We get off on it sometimes and we both enjoy giving it occasionally, but we don’t get off on suffering. What we get off on is the pleasure people get from…” He grinned then. “A little hitting, a little forceful yanking. Consensual. His isn’t willing.”
Daniel nodded, knowing everything Jack was telling him. Staring down at Jack’s navel, then his nipples, he ran his hands through the sparse chest hair, loving the slick feel of the soap. “But…” He looked up into Jack’s warm, brown eyes. “I got off on the fact that he was hurting me, Jack. I really did. I’ve been having fantasies about you using one of those hot, pear-shaped dildos on me.”
“Daniel, you’re not–“
“No, listen to me,” Daniel told him, rinsed fingers covering Jack’s mouth, as his eyes went wide. “You have no idea how much this is really freaking me out. I’m not into that shit. I’m not some masochist into being tortured. It’s not who I am. I think he did something to try and change that. We don’t fully appreciate just how many things he could do with his mind. He only needed a few more treatments in that machine to become ascended. And given what I’d learned to do, I knowhe did something.”
Jack’s eyes widened as Daniel started to shake. Scary thing was, it wasn’t with fear, it was anger. Yes, he was scared shitless, but he was mad. “C’mere,” he said, hugging him, burrowing against Daniel’s neck and loving the clean taste there. “You’re afraid it’s some sort of brain-induced trigger, aren’t you? Like those Zatarcs?”
Daniel nodded. “That knowledge had to be passed on from the other Goa’uld to Anubis and from Anubis to Khalek. He knows how to do it. I’m afraid of what that sonofabitch did to me, Jack.”
“But maybe that’s the point, Daniel. Maybe he didn’t do anything but plant an idea, one meant to mess with your head.”
“What if he did do something worse?”
“Daniel,” Jack said, taking his face in his hands. “I know you. What you’re capable of. He didn’t do squat to you, got me? What he did instead was get you wound up, knowing damn well that this was one way to mess you up. But you’ve cottoned onto it, Daniel. It’s not going to work, don’t you see?”
Daniel closed his eyes. “Then how do I get rid of those images, and the hard-on?”
Jack reached down and took Daniel’s cock in his hand. “You used me earlier, right?”
Daniel’s mouth dropped open. “Yes, but because it was you who could take away that crap in my head and what I think I feel. I didn’t… I wouldn’t–“
Jack kissed him, swift and firm. “I think it’s time to get a little of your own back, don’t you think?”
Daniel dredged up a grin, loving the man for the offer. “You don’t do violence, Jack. And I don’t either.”
“We both do rough, and I bottom, so…”
“So… am I over-reacting?” Daniel asked, looking a little sheepish.
“I think you’re entitled to freak after what he did.”
Daniel smiled and nodded. “I guess.”
“So… let’s give you a bit of a rest before we start again later?”
Daniel closed his eyes and groaned, grabbing onto Jack’s shoulders to hang on because Jack hadn’t let go of his dick. “That’s not helping, Jack.”
Jack paused the motion of his hand. “Want me to stop, then?”
“No,” Daniel decided.
“So… you’re willing to give my idea a try?”
Daniel started to answer but was distracted for a moment when familiar warmth rode through his balls and blood began flowing south. “I’m glad you flew over,” he whispered.
“Like there was ever any doubt I wouldn’t,” Jack whispered back, watching his face.
“You said you were tied up,” Daniel said, his breath hitching at the almost-forgotten idea.
Taking Jack’s dick in hand, Daniel breathed, “I think you still are.”
“Am I?” Jack asked, biting his lip.
“Jack?” Daniel asked as they both found the same rhythm.
“Don’t thank me yet,” Jack said as he suddenly dropped to his knees. “Not till I’ve replaced those images in your mind.” Before taking Daniel’s cock in his mouth, he looked up at him, eyes dark and challenging, and added, “Keep your eyes on me, Daniel, and don’t you dare look away.”
Daniel didn’t, and certainly not when he returned the favor.