Betwixt 4: The Play’s the Thing
Jack is so nervous about being on the receiving end that it inadvertently causes their first foray into playing pretend.
Jack was doing the domestic thing. First, the laundry. Then vacuuming. Followed by cleaning the fridge. After that came the oven. Then dusting everything in sight. Mopping the kitchen and dining room.
Daniel sighed as he folded Jack’s laundry and set it on the dryer. When he got to the living room, Jack wasn’t there. The kitchen and dining room? Nope. Daniel looked out the window and found him attacking the grill. It was spring, and warm enough to do that, but it was just one more thing to do that could have waited. If his anxiety was this bad that he preferred stalling to making love …
Jack had said he’d never had a man inside him, so a bit of anxiety was understandable, but this was just plain neurotic. He was acting as if Daniel was forcing him to do something against his will. But yesterday, he’d been all for it. Of course, they’d been naked and sweaty and engaging in a sixty-nine.
Daniel sighed. Message received.
He grabbed his coat and left.
An hour later, Daniel’s phone rang. It had taken Jack this long to notice he wasn’t there? Or maybe he’d just been resisting the urge to call him because he was embarrassed? Daniel preferred the latter explanation.
“Hello, Jack,” he said.
“Why’d you leave without saying goodbye?”
Okay. Not the question he wanted.
“I figured it’d be easier to ignore me if I wasn’t there.”
“I wasn’t … yeah, okay. Listen, come back over.”
“Are you done playing games?”
“I wasn’t …”
Jack growled and despite the seriousness of the situation, it made Daniel smile. He really couldn’t be mad. It would take more game playing before Jack pissed him off.
“You want me to rescind my wish?” he asked.
“I don’t want to talk on the phone.”
“Okay,” Daniel nodded. “I’ll be over in a bit.”
They hung up, and Daniel purposely took the time to wash the dishes in his sink and to do a load of his own laundry. It wasn’t game playing exactly. It would make clear that he wasn’t in a hurry, and it would let Jack know he wasn’t being pressured. That said, he really, really wanted to fuck him. Wanted to feel him surrounding his cock. Still, he wasn’t about to sacrifice their relationship over it. In fact, they didn’t even need to talk about it. Sort of.
When he knocked, then let himself in, Daniel heard the TV playing Jack’s second-favorite show. Mythbusters. Daniel liked it too. “Hey,” he called, hanging up his coat.
He came down into the living room and sat down next to Jack, who had his feet on the ottoman.
“I don’t know—” Jack began.
“So, what do you—” Daniel began at the same time.
Jack gestured for him to go first.
Daniel nodded, not in the mood to exchange ‘who goes first’ requests. “What do you want to have for dinner?”
Jack frowned. “It’s five p.m.”
“And?” Daniel asked.
Jack looked confused. “It’s a bit too early.”
“Depends on what you want for dinner,” Daniel said, looking at the TV and giving it his attention. In his peripheral vision, he knew Jack was looking at him. It was a little bit of a game, but it wasn’t designed for a specific result. It was open-ended. Whatever way Jack went, however he responded, it was fine. After a minute, Daniel glanced at him, then did a double-take, as if he didn’t already know he was being stared at. “What?”
Jack’s brows wrinkled even more. “What are you doing?”
Daniel sighed. Jack wanted to talk, but he was going about it all wrong. Still. It was talk. “Giving you space.” He returned his attention to the TV.
Jack pointed the remote and muted the TV, then set it on the coffee table and turned on his side, resting his arm on the back of the couch. “Hey.”
Daniel smirked a little and turned slightly, resting his head on the cushion. “Hey.”
Jack seemed a lot more at ease now.
“No need,” Daniel said. He reached over and took Jack’s hand in his. “You know, a long time ago, I would have been extremely hurt. I’d have overreacted, misunderstood. But that’s the difference between being childish and acting like an adult. I think I know you now, so I’m better able to guess your moods.”
“And you figured I needed space,” Jack stated.
Daniel gave him a wry smile. “In this particular case, I didn’t need to guess. You telegraphed your mood loud and clear. So, space. But next time, could you not play that sort of game and just talk to me instead?”
Jack sighed, then thought about it and made a face. “Yeah. Sorry about that. It’s habit. I’m not good at … asking for space. For time.”
“Makes you sound weak, right?” Daniel guessed.
“Yeah,” Jack said, surprised.
“It doesn’t. You have to get rid of that bullshit thinking.”
“Hey,” Jack said, putting on a show of being stubborn. “I kinda like that thinking.”
“No you don’t,” Daniel grinned.
“Sure I do.”
“Really? So you won’t mind if I pull that crap on you?”
Jack looked at him warily. “How would you do that exactly?”
Daniel thought about it. “Okay. Let’s say … you wanted to explore some stuff. Like you wanted to tie me up. Or blindfold me.” Jack’s sly grin was hot and Daniel made an effort at ignoring it. “And let’s say I wasn’t comfortable with the idea but I didn’t want to say it out loud. That rejecting what you wanted would make me sound weak. So instead, I make excuses not to be with you. Not to have sex. Stupid excuses. Ones you’d know were bullshit.”
Jack visibly colored. “Oh. Right.” He made a face. “Yeah, so maybe not that fond of that behavior.”
“It’s always different when the shoe’s on the other foot.”
“So next time, just talk to me. I’m not judging.”
Jack nodded and played with Daniel’s hand, lacing their fingers, then stroking them. The sly look returned and Daniel eyed him.
“What are you thinking?” he half-sing-songed. “You like that idea I brought up as an example?”
A little bit of color rose in Jack’s cheeks, but it was offset by the lustful interest in his eyes. “Yeah.”
Daniel gave him a smile. A small, secretive one. “You can bring up things like that. I’m game.”
Jack laughed, blushing a little more. “Are you really?”
“I’m not kidding.” He awarded Jack with a much more interested look. “I’ll consider anything. Try anything.” He suddenly got a few images in his head and wrinkled his nose. “Well, within reason.”
Jack’s eyebrows went up. “What’s not acceptable?”
“Extreme stuff. I’m not into water sports.” Jack made a face. He wasn’t either. “I’m not into blood play, ass play, or the dangerous stuff. I’m not into master, slave roles. I’m not into pain.”
“Define ass play.”
“Oh,” Jack nodded. “What are you into?”
Daniel shrugged. “Role play. Fantasy. Bondage.” Jack’s brows went up again. “Yes, I’m serious. At the same time, I’m not turned on by Shibari.”
“Japanese rope bondage. It’s very artistic, but it’s adherents like to be bound completely and I think I’d just like to stick with wrists and ankles.”
Jack’s mouth dropped open. “At the same time?”
Daniel pictured it and didn’t like the idea of not being able to move his legs … eventually. “Well, not the ankles. For the entire time. Just wrists. I need to be able to move my legs.”
“I agree,” Jack said, and the light in his eyes was sexy as hell.
Daniel cleared his throat and coughed. “So, anyway. Um. I don’t like using food. Whipped cream, et cetera.”
“Damn,” Jack half-joked. “There goes that can in the fridge.”
Daniel grinned. “I said I’m not into it. Meaning I’m not into eating it. I didn’t say you couldn’t do it. You want to use a can on me, I won’t say no. I’m rather partial to the taste of you, not food.”
Jack nodded, his gaze going unfocused. Daniel watched him think, wondering what was going on that wonderfully kinky mind. He knew it was in there. Jack had an inventive mind. All he needed to do was alter a parameter. Like turning it toward sex. And there had been those times where he’d held him down by his wrists, so bondage was a definite possibility. It would lead to things. An extreme version of that skittered across Daniel’s mind and he grimaced in disgust.
“What?” Jack asked.
“When I said fantasy, I didn’t mean rape fantasy. I can go with a bit of force. Like when you hold my wrists and keep me from moving. But pretend rape? I’ll turn to ice.”
Jack tightened his fingers in Daniel’s to get his attention. “You and me both. We both have good reason to hate the idea.”
Daniel took in a slow breath and let it out. He hadn’t realized he’d needed that reassurance, but he had. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” Jack said, the light in his eyes grew quite serious. “Okay. Now. Let’s talk about the thing I was being stupid abou—”
Daniel put two fingers over Jack’s lips. “You weren’t being stupid. You’re not ready. I accept that.” Jack tilted his head, considering him, and it made Daniel think he didn’t believe him. “I’m sincere.”
“I know you are,” Jack said. “It’s just … I’m warming up to the idea. Now that the pressure is off.”
“I thought that was the problem,” Daniel nodded. “There’s no pressure for anything, Jack.”
He nodded. “I’m not against it when you put your fingers inside me. I enjoy that.” Daniel gave him a tiny smile and nodded. “I guess I worry that I won’t like it.”
“You will,” Daniel said, then held up a hand. “You like my fingers. It’s better than that. But I think you’re afraid of balking at the pain of a first time. I can make that a lot easier.”
“What if I turn you off?”
Daniel’s brows skyrocketed and he sat up a bit. “How in the world could you possibly do that?”
Jack frowned. “I don’t know. If I somehow don’t turn you on.” He made a face. “Saying it out loud, it sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”
Daniel stared at him, dumbfounded. “The only way you could possibly turn anyone off would be if they didn’t want to be with you in the first place. They’d have to be whacked in the head.”
Jack chuckled and reached over, swiping a finger under Daniel’s chin. “You say the sweetest things.”
“Careful,” Daniel teased. “That might go to my head.” Jack seemed to be distracted now. His brows wrinkled a bit. “You’re thinking about it?”
Jack nodded. “How would you make it easier? Fingers aren’t the same.”
“By getting you used to something bigger than fingers. Using dildos. Two. Small and medium.” Jack’s mouth dropped open again. It made Daniel grin because there was interest in his eyes. “You actually like that idea.”
Jack swallowed. “Yeah.”
“Want to come over to my place? I have them there. Or I’ll just bring them over next time.”
Jack stared at him, surprised, but it hovered around shock. “Why?”
“Why do I have them?” Daniel asked, his own cheeks coloring. “Well, because I missed being fucked.” He took one of Jack’s fingers into his mouth and pretended it was a cock. He sucked it all the way in, then pulled it out. “I missed sucking cock. It’s not exactly a welcome activity at the mountain, so I didn’t dare approach anyone.”
Jack frowned. “I thought you were, you know. Shau’re.”
“We covered that, didn’t we?” Daniel asked, confused. “After our first time?”
Jack frowned. “I don’t …” He brows narrowed further as he thought back. “No. We never did.”
“Oh.” Daniel could have sworn … “Well, um. Shau’re and I had this open relationship. Or rather, it was forced on me by their culture.”
“What do you mean?” Jack asked.
“Men are expected to be with other men when the women either reject them or it’s their time of the month. It’s extremely taboo to have sex with a woman while she’s on her period. I was kinda shocked by that. By it all, really.”
Jack studied him and Daniel felt himself blush. “Did you … with other guys?”
Swallowing, Daniel nodded, embarrassed. He didn’t meet Jack’s eyes and stared at their joined hands instead. “Twice. Both times, I topped.” He looked at Jack guiltily. “I missed it. Being fucked.”
“You already said that,” Jack said, puzzled.
“Yeah,” Daniel drawled. “So, one night, not long after I got my apartment, I went to a gay bar.”
Jack sat up, staring at him. “You did?”
Daniel closed his eyes. “Like I said. I really missed it.”
“So … did you …?”
Daniel opened his eyes, but he didn’t look at him. He took a deep breath, swallowed, and balked. He couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Was it that bad?” Jack asked, concerned, and worried.
“No,” Daniel said, shaking his head, his eyebrows raising slightly. “Not at all.”
“Can you look at me?” Jack asked. When Daniel forced himself to, Jack added, “Why is it hard to talk about? Are you embarrassed?”
“Uh,” Daniel said, his mouth dropping open as he thought about it. “Yes.” He snapped it shut. “Yes.”
Forcing himself to look at him, Daniel pulled at Jack’s hand until he was close enough to kiss. He shifted around until he had Jack between his legs, then he scooted down until Jack lay over him. Wrapping his arms around his neck, he slowly devoured his mouth, his tongue. Jack kissed him back just as passionately, moving to his chin and throat, then back to his mouth.
“You’re avoiding answering the question,” Jack said, slowly breaking off. He stared down at him and all Daniel wanted to do right then was spread himself open and get fucked for a long, long time. He was getting harder by the second.
“I’m embarrassed because I pretended the guy … was, uh, you.”
Jack looked at him, studied him, and he didn’t laugh. He didn’t look offended. He didn’t look surprised. He looked intrigued.
“That doesn’t bother you?” Daniel asked.
“It would if you did it again,” Jack told him, a tiny warning in the words. “But back then? Of course not. I’m rather flattered. And, in all honesty …” He cleared his throat. “It’s kinda hot.”
Daniel let out a short bark of laughter. “It is?”
“What did he do?”
Stunned, and a bit turned on himself, Daniel stared at him. “You mean how?”
“You … actually want details,” he stated.
Jack settled his weight more evenly so he wasn’t a burden. “Yes,” he said, caressing the hair by his temples with the back of his fingers. “Tell me.”
Daniel swallowed again. “On one condition.” He blushed. Intensely. Jack’s brows went up and he smiled, amused by it.
“Anything,” he said.
“Re-create it,” Daniel said, and the words were shaky. He coughed after.
Jack narrowed his eyes and looked at him a little sideways. “Why?”
“Remove him for me,” Daniel said, whispering.
“How far do you wanna take this?” Jack asked as he pushed off and sat back on his calves. He pulled Daniel up with him.
“Well … uh …” He frowned. “Let’s go in the bedroom.”
“Ah. Okay. So no pretending to seduce you and such.”
Daniel snorted. “No.”
They undressed on the way, dropping their clothes in a heap by the door. “Lube? Condom?” Jack asked as they knelt on the bed and moved around.
“Both,” Daniel said. He remained on his knees, facing Jack, who did the same. His cock was half-full and Jack’s gaze kept going there. Daniel returned the attention. But then, it was on all of him, not just his cock. His half-hard cock.
“So, now what?” Jack asked. “No, better yet. Lie down. Right where you are.” Daniel lay back, his knees bent, but Jack slid closer and pulled Daniel’s hips close, placing his legs around him. “Okay. Tell me about it.”
Intrigued, this was a bit of kink Daniel hadn’t anticipated coming from Jack. He was interested in hearing about it because he had been the focus. But Daniel suspected that Jack wanted to hear how another guy fucked him. Maybe it would turn him on. Maybe he wanted to compare notes. In any case, Daniel was warming up to the idea and the embarrassment was evaporating. Bless Jack for doing that.
“Okay. He put on his condom, then smeared lube over me.”
“Sucking cock, you mean?”
“Or jerking off, fingering, anything like that?”
“No,” Daniel said. “As I said. I really wanted someone to fuck me. He just slipped it on, lubed me, himself, and … started up.” As he spoke, Jack translated his words to action. It was no-nonsense, just like that night had been several months ago. Daniel wasn’t sure he wanted Jack to do it that way but he didn’t know what he wanted instead.
Jack watched him as he took hold of his cock and rubbed the head over Daniel’s anus. “Did he do this?”
Daniel swallowed again and nodded. It occurred to him that they were in the exact same position and it spooked him. His body froze up as Jack pushed into the puckered muscle and the extra tightness of it, as if he was resisting, made him pause.
“Nothing,” Daniel replied softly. “Go.” He remembered that he’d been a bit tipsy, but he’d balked a bit then too, and the man, handsome as he was, and built really well, hadn’t even noticed. “Jack,” Daniel said quickly. “You need to act as if I’m just a body to fuck. That’s the way he looked at me. It’s the way I looked at him.”
“That’s gonna be a bit difficult,” Jack said, pushing harder.
Daniel sucked in a breath as he was breached. “I know.”
“Now, tell me.”
“He … we … it was like this. He didn’t start out over me. He was kneeling like you are. He grabbed my hips and began. I was …” Daniel closed his eyes as Jack began to thrust. He put his arms over his head. “I did this and I just enjoyed it.” Jack got a rhythm going as he talked. It made it easier. “I hadn’t had it in a while and I just laid there and enjoyed it.”
“Did you look at him?” Jack asked.
Daniel shook his head, keeping his eyes closed.
“Then look at me.”
Daniel did. He imagined that it had been Jack, not that stranger and his cock jumped.
Jack noticed and nudged him, holding his hips firmly. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m imagining that it was really you back then,” Daniel said, swallowing. “And what if it had been? How would you have done this?”
“To a stranger or to you?” Jack asked, stilling his hips.
“I’m not sure.” Jack moved a little. “So, a game of pretend?”
Daniel blinked, and a smile spread slowly across his face. “Yeah. A game of pretend.”
“Okay.” Jack thrust once, slowly. Like a gentle wave. “I met you … in the bar. I seduced you, brought you back here. Where?”
“A hotel room.”
“Yeah. It was his hotel room already.”
“Am I a stranger? Have we met before?” Jack asked. “Been to Abydos? Or is this a clean slate?”
“Abydos,” Daniel breathed. Jack moved like a wave again. He was inching deeper with every undulating thrust. “I was thinking it was you. We’d just come home. I needed someone and you showed up at the bar, took me to a hotel.”
Jack gave him the most seductive smile he’d ever seen. “And I did what?”
“Whatever you wanted,” Daniel said, panting just a tiny bit faster.
Jack took his cock in hand and stroked him, pulling slowly. “Like this maybe?”
“However you like,” Daniel breathed. “Just … use me.” He paused, then whispered, “Use me, Jack O’Neill.”
Jack reached back with his left hand and placed it under Daniel’s right thigh. Lifting him, he laid it over his lap, forcing Daniel to twist to the side while his upper body stayed on his back. He thrust in deep and slid over the prostate. Daniel sucked in a breath and brought his hands down on either side of him, slapping the mattress and gripping fistfuls of blanket.
Purposely, he said, “Colonel.”
“Jack. You’re tight, Doctor Jackson.”
“You’re tight, Daniel. Been with a man before?”
“Yes, but not for a while. I’ve dreamed …” Jack thrust a bit harder and Daniel inhaled sharply. “Of you.”
“Did you dream of me on Abydos?”
“Yes. And when I saw you …”
Jack stopped, pulled out, and turned Daniel over. Remaining on his knees, with his hands on Daniel’s hips, he pulled him back and re-entered him. Daniel started to push up on his hands but Jack placed a hand in the middle of his back and pushed him down.
“Like that. Just like that. I’ve dreamed of this too.”
“You have?” Daniel asked, trying to look over his shoulder, but Jack pushed him down again.
“Oh yeah. I look at your ass and I get hard.”
Daniel resisted the urge to laugh. Jack had said that a few months ago. Amazingly, it made this scenario more real. He concentrated on what Jack was doing and groaned. It wasn’t acting. He pretended it was his first time in a long time. Like it had been with the stranger. Like it would have been had the man been Jack instead.
“You feel good,” Jack said. “Who knew Doctor Jackson liked to be fucked.”
“Any way you can dish it out.”
“Is that so?” Jack asked, and he leaned forward, plunging deep, and grabbed Daniel’s shoulders. He kept him pinned to the mattress and moved his hips in a deep, furious pace.
“Oh god, Jack,” Daniel gasped, his voice halting with each thrust. “Oh god.”
“Goddamn,” Jack gasped. “You like this, Jackson?”
Daniel was unable to move. Jack had him pinned and it was glorious. He couldn’t even move his arms. “I love it,” he choked.
“How long have you wanted this?” Jack asked.
“Since I met you.”
“You’re so damn tight. So wonderfully tight.” His voice was shaky, husky, and Daniel pictured his hips, his cock. His eyes widened as his balls were hit repeatedly and the jarring was now brushing his prostate.
“Oh fuck me, Jack,” he rasped, barely audible.
“That’s it,” Jack gasped, refusing to stop or slow down. He was almost there. “Come for me, Jackson.”
“Come for me, Jackson!”
“Oh. Fuck.” Daniel made little ‘oh’ sounds, repeating them louder and louder as his orgasm began. It started slow, then intensified, and finally took over in a whiteout where all he could do was stare, wide-eyed, at the dresser, while he spilled and spilled.
“Fucking hell,” Jack said, his voice almost gone as he slammed into Daniel’s body. His own orgasm shot just as slowly, intensely, and he refused to let go of Daniel’s shoulders as he rode out the wave of pleasure. As he came down, he began whispering, “Jesus,” over and over. Finally, he fell forward, gathered Daniel in a spoon, and hugged him close. “Fucking hell, Daniel.”
Trying to find his breath, Daniel whispered, “Yeah.”
The afterglow doze turned into a restful, boneless sleep for a few hours.
“Mmm,” Daniel groaned as he woke up. “I’m starving.”
Jack mumbled agreement. After cleaning up, they padded naked into the living room.
“Chinese?” Jack asked.
“That sounds awesome.”
Snorting that Daniel had used the word, he dialed up and ordered. “Want a coke or a beer?” he asked.
“Coke,” Daniel said. “I don’t really like beer.”
“You drink it.”
“Because you offer it. Buy me some wine once in a while.”
Jack snorted again. He came in and handed Daniel the coke, then stared down at him. At his cock. He was limp, but Jack was thinking about the size of him when erect. It made his mouth water. He only wondered if he should feel that way when wanting to be fucked.
“What do you feel like when you want to be fucked?” he asked, sitting down.
“I mean …” He knew it would be embarrassing, but he bit the bullet. “When I look at your cock when it’s hard, my mouth waters. What should I feel when imagining it inside me?”
“Hard?” Daniel offered. “Seriously. I get hard thinking of you inside me. The backs of my thighs, right under my ass, gets weak. Like being weak-kneed, I guess.”
“You do?” Jack asked, surprised.
“What happens when you think of wanting to fuck me?”
“My dick gets hard.”
“Anything else? Think about it.”
Jack chewed at his lower lip. “I get tingles all over my ass.”
“Shut up. You asked.”
“It’s the way you said it,” Daniel said, continuing to giggle. “So you get all tingly. Your balls get weak?”
Jack blinked. “Yeah, I think so.”
“That’s how I feel when I think of being in you.”
“Huh. Well, anyways. Moving on. Is …” He waved at the bedroom, then each other. “Is it always like that?”
“What? Pretend?” Daniel asked back.
Daniel thought about it. “Pretty much. If you vary the scenario so it becomes something you’d never thought of before but you can easily put yourself in the moment, it makes for the best orgasms.”
“Jesus, no kidding.”
Daniel smiled and leaned in, rubbing against him like a cat. “Thank you.”
Jack was amused. “For?”
“Replacing that memory for me.”
“I managed to do that?”
“Oh hell yes.”
“Huh.” Jack bent his head to the side and kissed him. “So … about turning the tables.”
Daniel wasn’t sure he understood. “Turning … you mean, reverse roles? You want your first time as a game of pretend?”
Jack took a deep breath. “We can play it by ear, but … yeah. I think it would be hotter.”
Daniel suddenly groaned. “When will that be exactly? We’re due to leave tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry,” Jack said, kissing him lightly. “We’ll be back home before you know it. You’re not going anywhere and neither am I.”
The next time they would get together, it would be after Jack found out, in the gateroom, that his lover wasn’t dead.